Brooklyn

So I had to take a trip to Brooklyn today for a close friend's bridal shower. When I heard Brooklyn, I started to think.."Oh God I hope it is nowhere near Coney Island." I should not complain, because my bridal shower will probably be in Sheepshead bay which is somewhere near the beach which has got to mean far far away. Nevertheless, when I received the email the host told me it was in Brooklyn Heights. Okay that is easy enough - right? Wrong! I head out about 11:30 am because I figured I did not know where I was going so better to get a head start. Then I get a text: A train not stopping at High Street must take A to Jay street and then turn back around and take the A train one stop to High Street. Great! Now I have to carry two very heavy bags even farther and transfer trains. Okay okay and we are off. So after I get off the station, I start looking for Adams Street. The email says "Apartment is 100 yards from train". Easy enough...Except then I read somewhere on the email "make sure you are on the right side of the bridge." Bridge? What bridge?! So I walk, and walk, and walk. Finally I ask someone "Where is Adams? " So I find it 10 minutes later and then I walk up Adams and down Adams and up Adams and down - you get the point. I am doing this all while I am holding my phone looking at Google Maps and it keeps telling me that the building was to the right but every time I went there I hit a dead end. How can GPS be telling me this is where the building is - there is nothing here but a damn wall and then the highway. Hmm? Finally after 20 minutes I find a police officer. I ask her "Do you know where this is?" She tells me the other side of the bridge. Where the F*&k ois this bridge? There must be something in the drinking water!. That is she until she points to a sign that says Brooklyn Bridge. I start panicking, do I have to cross the Brooklyn Bridge? My hands are about to fall off, and I think I have lost all circulation from the 5 lb soup I am carrying or is it the 16 piece spice rack? Nevertheless, I was ready to give up and open those babies up and just start having my own bridal shower on the bridge. Luckily the cop told me that I just had to cross this very large intersection and I would be there. So I take my badly wrapped bridal gift and I start crossing this very large intersection. 100 feet later I am at the building. As I press the doorbell it hits me....I am never moving to Brooklyn.

Safe Sex please!

I realized today why it is I do not have children. No it isn't the screaming, or the whining, and it isn't the annoying "Why?" after everything you say. The reason came to me while I was home last night. I had just finished watching an episode of "The Wire", and my dog Spike would not stop whining. Now if anyone knows my dog, they will know that he has ADD, and should probably be on Prozac anyway. Well he also loves to whine, and it gets old fast. The Midwestern took him out thinking he might have to go for a walk - Nope. One hour later he started up again, so this time I took him out, thinking maybe now he really has to go - right? Wrong. Finally both the Midwestern and I are watching Will and Grace and getting ready for bed, and all you hear is whine, whine, whine. UGH! Then the Midwestern turns to be and asks: Did you give the dog water today? Um, No did you? His response: Um, No? OMG! I run to the kitchen and fill up his water bowl and Spike ran to it like he just crossed the Sahara. After he finished his 2nd bowl of water, the Midwestern turns to me and asks: When was the last time you gave the dog water? Um, last week.
This is why I don't have kids.

Client 9

There is this girl in my class who always wears super short skirts and low cut blouses, and I feel as if she saw Erin Brokowitz way too many times. The difference is this woman is a large woman, not I need gastric bypass large, but the I had too many cupcakes large. Well every time I see her, I have to check out what she is wearing because watching someone make a fashion faux pas is always quite fun for most women. Today, I noticed she had these very high stilettos with a metallic gold heel with her one size too small suit. Is she kidding? Who the world wears metallic gold stilettos to a law firm? Does she work for Spitzer on her free time? I am very worried, and I want to run up to her and tell her that she should stay clear of the clearance section at Rickys, but I decide to keep my silence. Instead, I start walking to my drafting litigation documents with my paper in hand which is due today. I run into my classmate and he says "Hey did you do your paper?" I nod my head. "How many pages?" I look at him and say "Six". I see his face turn white and his mouth open. I start to sweat..Did I write too little? Should I have included a table of authorities? "Are you kidding? You were only supposed to write 2 pages."

Payback is a bitch

Adult only Weddings

I am going to say something that might make me burn in hell, and my good Catholic parents very upset. But I am not a huge fan of children. No that does not mean I will not have my own, because I am sure that motherly instinct will kick in. And no that does not mean I do not like kids in general. I am just not a big fan of crying, screaming children and at times I find them overwhelming. I figure I probably have 3-4 more years of this until I start wanting kids so much that a trip to Babies-r-us is filled with ooos and ahhhhs. But until that happens, the last place I really want them is running down the aisle at the church during the wedding. So how do you write in a tackful way

You are kindly requested to keave your screaming mongrels at home.

Everyone Loves Little Girls

I am going to say something that might make me burn in hell, and make my good Catholic parents very upset. But I am not a huge fan of children. No that does not mean I will not have my own, because I am sure that motherly instinct will kick in one day. And no that does not mean I do not like kids in general. I am just not a big fan of crying, screaming children and at times I find them annoying. I figure I probably have 3-4 more years of this until I start wanting kids so much that a trip to Babies-r-us is filled with "ooos and ahhhhs". But until that happens, the last place I really want them is running down the aisle at the church during the wedding. So I figured it might be too tacky to put on our invites "Adult only reception", because it might give people the wrong impression. It is bad enough that my law school budget is forcing me to invite some people without the "plus 1". I do not want all my friends to hate me. So when I heard that my future MIL was inviting her niece and her baby, I wanted to scream. I started thinking? What if she starts screaming in the church? What if she throws cake at people? What if she is just plain cute?? Nah! So I decided, if I must have a child there (mind you the only child), then she must serve a function. I must give her something to do, thus making her a flower girl. I never thought I would have a flower girl, because of the reasons listed above. But I thought, shoot if I have to have her there then she has to work. You know what they say about idle hands? Well that opened a can of worms. All of a sudden, I started to get tons of emails on dresses and colors and shoes and tiaras. Why cant they just put her in combat boots and overalls? Do I really care what she wears? Well apparently I do, because when they showed me some dress that was red and frou frou. I probably should have told them I hate red...Oops! So now I have to take back the ever so kind "Oh any dress is find". Um no! I had to politely tell them my color theme of the wedding and hope they get the hint. Which they did - and low and behold I get these pics of this ever so cute little girl dressed up like a princess smiling at the camera. Apparently, she told her mom she was getting all dressed up to go see a "princess."Okay okay the kid got me. Anyone who can recognize my royalty ancestry has scored points with me. For that I might even pick her up a damn tiara.

MPRE

This weekend I had to take the MPRE, and for those who do not know what it is I will explain. The American Bar Association beside making you take 3 days of a grueling 21 hours of exams also makes you take this 3 hour ethics exam. Okay it was more like 2 hours and 25 minutes, but nevertheless. The midwestern thinks it is their way of policing themselves so that the state or federal government will not get involved in making laws to govern how lawyers practice. I kind of agree. So with that said, in order to get admitted you have to take this ethics exam which they recommend you take your last year of law school so that it does not interfere with you studying for the bar. Except they never considered it might interfere with the 2 papers I have to write for school. Jerks! Anyway, I spent 5 hours studying on Friday night after 1 vodka/soda and a martini. I do not know why I insisted on having alcohol in my system, but I figured if I had to do 180 multiple choice questions dealing with: Can a lawyer be subject to discipline for commingling client funds, or Is it proper to pay for referrals?. BORING! I figured I should be tipsy. So back to the exam. I wake up at 7:00 am on Saturday for a 9:00 am exam. This is very odd considering that the exam center is all of 15 minutes from my apartment, so why did I wake up 2 hrs earlier? Well because part of being a law student or a lawyer for that matter is being anal. That is why some students book 3 rooms for the bar exam, just in case one burns down, one is hit by a tornado, then you have back up. So I woke up 2 hrs earlier, in case the path was flooded, the ferry sunk, and the taxi cabs went on strike..I would still have a way of getting into the city on time. I showed up on Church street at 8:30 am which gave me enough time to scope the proper seat. You know the one that is not too close to the person with the fidgety hands, or the girl who is blowing her nose. Which brings me to taking any exam in the winter. It should be banned! Too many damn people blowing their nose, that half way into the exam I thought the blowing of the nose sounded like it was in unison to a song I heard on the radio. Someone get the girl a freaking nasal spray! I heard a person behind sigh very loudly and slam her pencil down, but the girl did not get the hint. She kept going - honker and all. Finally I finished all 60 questions, and even the test center questions where I get to give my opinion of the test center. I gave everything raving reviews (NY law school is in a nice building and great location..I mean the distance to the bubble lounge is great because all law students should have champagne within walking distance) But the question about taking the exam with no distractions made me look for a space where I could make additional comments about Gonzo over there but I could only answer: Excellent, Fair, Bad, Terrible. I chose "none of the above", and then walked out of there as fast as I could praying that the champagne bar was open at 11 am.

Eating Gold

So it is March 5th and I am 4 months away from the big day. I have spent the last 4 months planning the important stuff: Food, Liquor, dress. Oh was there more important stuff? You see I hate fussing over stupid details like what color should the flower girl dress be - who cares? So long as there is no screaming crying baby running down the aisle - you can put her in a green camouflage overall outfit for all I care. So when it came down to trying to decide if I wanted to spend $33.00 on a flap that hangs over the side of my invites - I was ready to scream. The wedding industry as I have mentioned before is nothing more than a way to get people to spend way too much money on things they can't afford and everyone will forget within the first 3 martinis. So I figured that's it!!! Focus on Martinis! So I started looking at martini ice luges. For anyone who has never seen one - it is a 200 lb block of ice where you pour the vodka down what sort of looks like a water slide in Disney and the vodka comes out chilled as you catch it in your martini glass - Brilliant. What worries me is that I may have people with their tongue stuck to the ice sculpture because they have decided to catch it with their mouth (see Exhibit A above). Trust me those people will probably be the Midwestern and me - bitsandgiggles are you in? During my research, I also came across this new luxury vodka that has Gold flakes in it. Wow! How cool would it be to ingest 24 kt gold flakes, that has got to increase my net worth some how right? Does anyone know if our bodies can even digest gold? Ahh all these details.....

War or Honeymoon?

I was sitting in the living room when I heard the Midwestern say something to the fact that "Chavez is sending troops to Colombia." What? Chavez? Colombia? What the hell is that batshi*t crazy psycho doing with Colombia? I mean anyone who goes around chewing coca leaves all day has got to have a few brain cells short of a oraguntan. Well it looks like not only is Venezuela going to send troops to my homeland, but so is Ecuador (my other homeland)- WTF? You see for me that is a big problem considering that my wedding is in Ecuador and my honeymoon is in Colombia. I really do not feel like flying through enemy airspace. Not to mention that it is already normal to be greeted at the airport by AK47's, but now I have to worry about being caught in the middle of the military fire or trying to find a pink bullet proof vest to go with my outfit. You know most people pick normal places to have their wedding and honeymoon, like Mexico, Bermuda, Jamaica, or Hawaii. Not a 3rd war countries that are run by Farc, and especially not countries that have thousands of paramilitary guerillas walking around as if it were a cops during the St. Pattys parade in NY. So with that being said, I am on the internet looking at the refund policy of my airfare under the category "war", and hoping that I can change my hotels as well. I mean Avianca (colombian airline) has to understand, right? I mean they do not really want to be target practice either do they? Anyone have any places I can get some nice combat boots?

I was not sure that whether my fingers or my nose was going to fall off first, but I knew if I did not get to work soon one was going to go fast. Today was probably the coldest day of the year, if anything has convinced me not to move to Chicago this was it. Luckily I heard the weather while I was getting dressed so I pulled out my wool slacks, my turtleneck [which I bought on one of the coldest days in Paris] and then grabbed the J-Lo coat. I have this coat that is long and furry and suede and sort of makes me look like Jenny from the block. It is a mix between ghett-o-licious and fab-o-licious. And I am sure if I had as much money as J-Lo I would own two. The coat also makes me feel like a Russian princess with its big hood, so I thought "Bring it!" That was until I started walking my way up Pine Street and I though Oooh...God must be really pissed off at us for this global warming thing, that he decided to kick our a*ss this morning. God: "Oh so you want to keep driving those SUV's don't you?" Us: "Yes we do and what are you going to do about it." God: "Well how are you going to feel when 9 of your toes have turned black. Now let me see you push that gas pedal on that Escalade....What you got!!?" (I swear I have these conversations in my head) The Hummer thinks it won the battle with its Hybrid (that is such an oxymoron). So instead of gas we use hydrogen - And? When the car is THAT big it doesn't matter if we use Champagne, I still see a world war breaking out over some grapes. So now I am sitting at my desk next to the window, being thankful that I work on the 50th floor where I can feel the unprotected UV rays of the sun beating down on my face. Ahhhh...I can slowly start feeling my circulation pump back into my toes. Whew, because it would suck if I only had one - How else would I drive the "beast" in Puerto Rico?

Farewell my Friend and Confidant

Farewell, my friend and confidante! As you go, so must I return upon the well-worn path. Each soul must travel by. Wend where you will, my wanderer, Even as you stay. Long-treasured in my lonely heart, Loved well, though far away.

I am writing this blog with much happiness and sadness to my dear friend JK. He is currently sitting in an internet cafe in his flip flops somewhere near the Andes drinking a cafe con leche. I did not have a chance to bid farewell and am very saddened for that. However, between him trying to finalize the last 30 something years of his life in NY and me trying to rush out of NY practice class at 8:30 - our paths never crossed before he took off on his journey to the Equator. So instead I send this message to him by the only means I see fit - Internet blogging. So as I sit here and think back to the late nights of eating Lobster tails at Outback in White Plains, or the CD production logs that kept us so long in that God forsaken building of IBM... I still smile. Then we progressed to a deeper friendship over highlighting trial exhibits and sticking labels on green folders in the pencil top skyscraper of CSM. Ahhh what we would do without the life of 80 hour weeks of the corporate legal world to bind us? I have met so many amazing people over the midnight Island Burger meals at a conference table on the 36th floor. And now I bid adieu to one of the first and definitely one of the most important of the original CSM crew. I will miss you JK - keep wearing your slippers even if it is 80 degrees in Cusco and keep in touch. In the interim, I will save the lobster tail for you senor frog until you return.

Sadness in Election 2008

I regretfully announce that my boy Richards oops, I mean Edwards has dropped out of the race. I call him my boy because according to http://www.campaignissues2008.com/, he is my preferred candidate. I feel bad that he has decided this race is mostly about either putting a woman in the white house or putting an African American in the white house. Since when did it become a race about "history blazing its path" http://www.wral.com/news/state/story/2374923/? I thought it was about the Iraq, health care, stem cell research. Not lets see how much history can be made in 2008 - is it a woman or is it a man? Is it white or is it black? Well I am very disappointed that the celebrity candidates have pushed out a perfectly good candidate from the campaign. Okay enough of my political platform, I will just let the celebrity candidates rip each other to shreds until the best man/woman wins. Now I have to go take that quiz again to see which of the two is more "my candidate". Too bad they do not ask questions like "Are you more interested in hot pink pumps?" or "red patent pumps?" Then I would know who is my candidate!

BitsandGiggles Big 30!

I have been sort of behind on posting my blog entries. It has been a variety of laziness, being busy reading for school, and watching too much WE channel. So I have to back track to Jan. 18th when Bitsandgiggles celebrated her big 30. The night started with Russian vodka infused with cranberries or was that raspberries? The night ended with russian vodka infused with more cranberries...Ooh and then the honey came out. I vaguely remember calling the Polish restaurant (I know I said Russian, but it is owned by a Polish woman), at 11 pm and asking..How long are you open just for drinking? Yes, I said drinking not drinks. I was excited what can I say. Her response was "How many?" How many what? Drinks, I don't know, one, two okay lets be honest three carafes of vodka. Oh wait she meant how many people! Six! Okay she said. We walk up to the place and her husband (I think), was pulling down the gate. "Wait" I think that was bitsandgiggles running in her new zebra print Steve Madden shoes. So we walk in and went through 4 carafes of vodka - ok we lied. It started as three I swear. I will say the night was a blast. It was full of yummy middle eastern food, belly dancing, bitsandgiggles suggesting Scores, etc.. I lost the bet of bridezilla leaving early, but she let me slide..whew! I could not afford another $20 bet. I just lost one the day before - damn she knows her friends. I never got to show her the evite that I created with pink polka dots, but I believe it went off without a hitch and we all had a great time. But the best of it all is now the Midwestern and LJ want to exchange email addresses. What else can we ask for??

Engagement What?

I woke up sick as a dog on Saturday to the blaring sound of not one but two cell phones. Apparently, my parents think that if I do not pick up the phone the first time then either a) keep calling until I do or b) call the Midwestern and me at the same exact time until someone picks up. So I wake up frantically thinking someone must be hurt, dead or worse. I answer to hear my dad yelling why don't I pick up the phone, blah, blah, blah. My head is asking "get to the point dad, because I have enough Nyquil in me to numb me for another 3 hours." He starts telling me how my uncle (my mothers brother) is upset because he is throwing me an engagement party and no one is attending. WTF? When I hear that my uncle is throwing me a party to celebrate my engagement, I think lunch at his house with the family - right? Wrong! Apparently he thought catered food, bottles of champagne, the paparazzi. Why didn't anyone tell me? Oh yeah, because he somehow lost his ability to dial a telephone number on his cell phone and now is crying "oooh no one is coming to my party!" So I start making a million phone calls to all my friends. Okay the truth 10 phone calls to my only friends. I already knew that it was going to be hard to drag people from Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx and Manhattan to Greenwich, Connecticut. But my uncle has offered to have his driver (I must be in the wrong line of business), pick up my friends in NY and bring them back. So problem solved right? wrong? It still does not take away from the fact that it is 1 week away and I actually do only have a handful of friends. Which is ok because better a few great friends than a lot of bad friends. Thus here I am 5 days away from my engagement what? Party. With a half a SUV filled with a few of my friends who so graciously have agreed to eat and drink with me and take the trip to another state. AHHH what would I do without you guys.

Last Will and Testament

I have been sick for over a week now and I have decided it is not worth living. I am tired of drinking Nyquil (is that stuff addictive?), taking Theraflu, drinking Dayquil (the color is cute), and ingesting an obscene amount of disgusting antioxidant juice. Not to mention these concoctions that the Midwestern bought me with beets, wheat germ, spinach and apples and other disgusting nasty stuff. The only good that has come out of the past week is two days off from work, home made chicken soup, and the occasional pity party from people. But now I am getting people asking me "Your not still sick right?" Why? is there a time line? Or is it illegal to hold onto the flu..or the cold..or whatever the f&*k this is for longer than 4 days. I start school this Wednesday and I am not looking forward to sitting through 4 hours of class when I am coughing out a lung. But in the process I do have some home remedies that my Russian friends have recommended which I am going to try tonight. One involves drinking a shot of vodka with pepper. Even if that does not work maybe my liver will feel better. The other involves boiled potatoes on my chest (No, not boiling potatoes and my breasts). This sounds like it might land me in the burn unit. The last one involves a ridiculous amount of raspberry preserves. Believe it or not that remedy is actually from my Russian doctor. Instead of just prescribing me some codeine and antibiotics like a normal M.D., he tells me to eat as much raspberry preserves as possible and call him in the morning. I am not sure where my health insurance money is going, but I swear if I do not feel better by tomorrow and my finger nails are stained red, I am having him pay for my manicure.

Crashing the Bar

So my dear friend bitsandgiggles is preparing for the most terrible experience of her life - no she is not getting married or having a baby she is taking the bar exam. I have been vicariously living through her while she is going through the PMBR and the new BARBRI classes. Even though I can not even fathom what 5 hours of class and 9 hours of studying 6 days a week does to a person, I am trying to find humor in all that surrounds it. We need the spirits alive! So when I read the Barbri method, I finally understood why so many lawyers are addicted to drugs. Are they kidding me? Not to mention that they make you buy 380 lbs of books and then not sleep, or eat for two months. Then I read this article and it all made sense http://blogonaut-blogonaut.blogspot.com/2007/11/lawyers-defense-to-meth-charge-i-did-it.html. Of course our lawyers of America are making Meth! But that is not the worse part, the fact that they are able to get away with drug charges for pleading "handicapped" because he was high is BRILLIANT! So when these law school graduates are sitting through hours of contracts and torts and then realize their $150K education did not teach them half of what they need to know for the bar. All they need to know is at least they will be able to keep themselves out of jail. So, I have decided to start staking up on Sudafed and ammonia, and I have the dog already. Bitsandgiggles hang tough, and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel or crack pipe whichever comes first.

Oh the weather outside is frightful!

So the holidays are upon us and I have spent the past few days doing last minute Christmas shopping, cleaning, entertaining, cleaning, entertaining, eating - Did I mention cleaning? This Christmas week, it has been all about the apartment. I know it is only 700 square feet but since I did not decorate this year I wanted to get the place in order. There are a few projects I have been meaning to tackle for example: new closet doors, new bookcase, filtered water (Hoboken water tastes like Mexico city), add lights in the kitchen, putting up pictures...Okay so my list is big. But I will say with the help of generous parents (mine and the Midwestern) we now have new pictures, a light in the kitchen, a water cooler [I love 50 degree water], and have the closet doors on order. Oh and you can not forget the new stainless steel recycling bin - Hey if I must save the environment why not do it in style? I know I sound sooooo domestic, but with all the time I spend studying at home (the library can get a little exhausting) I might as well love it. Even if all it took was some clean water and some pictures on the wall.

Hitting the Town & Country

So the last day of finals ended with a wonderful engagement AGAIN. I was treated with a beautiful visit to our old favorite champagne bar Flute in midtown and then surprised with a proposal and a canary diamond so big my eyes hurt. After being treated to strawberries and cream by the manager we were off to dinner. Then the night ended with a fab dinner at Country where the ceilings were 20 feet high and the chandeliers were bigger than my sofa. And even though there was no chair for my purse (Daniel Boulud your the greatest), there was still plenty of cool items. Such as the frog legs...OHH Kermie! And the complimentary champagne and the balcony table for two. Not to mention the menu with our names on it and the white chocolate with "Congratulations" written in dark chocolate. Should I tell the chef I hate chocolate? NAH! After 3 exams, one which included the horrid Federal Tax exam I needed this. Because after the tax exam, I came close to sticking a large object in my eye or possibly ripping my fingernails out one by one - I figured either one would be more pleasant then how I spent those last 10 hours. If I have not said it already - Law school will suck the life out of you and then spit it out and make you eat it. With that said, nights like this one spent with the Midwestern are welcomed in order to take my mind off what horrors lie behind and ahead.

Thats just my baby daddy

The past 7 days have been spent eating fat free pringles, wearing sweatpants and flats, not doing my hair or make up and reading pages of Bankruptcy and Tax. But before I could subject myself to the stale air of the Newark library, I went to my new gym. My thoughts were "be healthy & don't get fat" because eating easy mac and fat free pringles just was not going to keep my figure slim. I also figured it would assist me in getting through the day. So that while I am sitting at an exam I can think about how I did an extra 10 minutes on the elliptical machine so I can eat that extra gummy bear staring at me. But then it hit me, the real reason I was going to the gym was not for the fancy locker rooms, or the new ski machine but it was for Maury and Montel. It occurred to me that I ran to the gym to plug in my head phones so I can finish watching "my daughter is sleeping with 50 men" or "Shocking DNA!" episodes. I guess I figured if I am sweating while I jog on the tread mill that it excuses my sorry self from watching mindless talk shows that are trashy and disgusting. I keep telling myself if I have to read endless notes about indebtedness and adjusted basis then I deserve some trash TV. But what I did not appreciate were all the commercials. I timed it, Montel spoke for all of 4 minutes and then he kept taking commercial breaks. If I saw one more Reggaeton Optimum online cable commercial with the mermaids I was going to scream. So now exams are over and no more Maury and Montel, but I will miss "My babby daddy is my boyfriends father" on Friday damn!

Bat shit Crazy

So the past two weeks have been lovely. Puerto Rico, great friends, birthday, then Thanksgiving, great family, etc... I know that this is all coming to an end because finals are around the corner, but luckily I started outlining early that I am not too behind schedule. So when I opened up my mail the other night with the return address from a HS friend of mine - the first thing that came to mind was "AWW" She sent me a belated bday card. NOT! So I open up this paper of pure evil and read a page about how I am not the friend I used to be, and there is some discussion of her feeling "numb" - Damn you would think I was sleeping with her and I forgot the foreplay. The letter discusses this stupid fight we had and in so much words how I swept it under the rug and acted like nothing happened (or chose to ignore or forget it - I think were her words). And then ended with a Good bye and have a nice life! What I forgot to mention is that this fight happened 4 yrs ago. Yep folks you got it - she is bat shit crazy (thanks bitsandgiggles for the adjective that is so perfect). Not only had we been on speaking basis for a year, but we did lunch just a few days before the letter showed up. Flutter, flutter, do I hear the bat wings? First off, who the hell holds a grudge for 4 yrs and then keeps it quiet for a year and then writes a poisonous letter right after my 30th birthday after a lovely lunch date?? Those nasty little black flying insects oh and her! So am I a little bitter? Yes. Am I probably developing some psychotic tendencies? Yes. But I promise, I will not write a letter if I need to discuss my frustrations. I will handle it the mature way...Sticking my Stuart Weitzman's in her eye.

Gobble Gobble

Another Thanksgiving gone, and another fall semester coming to the end. I am sitting here doing practice exams for Tax and of course no answers! So I sit here and waste endless hours doing questions that I will never know if they are right or not. And I listen to hours of monotone voices on CD of a boring professor that they hired from some southern state to teach me Bankruptcy. UGGH, life sucks again. I have eaten massive amounts of mac n cheese, mashed potato, green bean casserole, and the pies...Oh the pies! Pumpkin, squash (I made that one), sweet potato, cherry, apple, pecan. I am looking for different ways to pump my stomach and remove everything I just ate in the past 4 days. Not to mention that the weekend consisted of the Midwestern's two stepbro's showing up which always entails loads of Makers Mark and endless hours of cigar smoking. I can tell the wedding will be fun and smelly :0 So as I contemplate over the past few days and think of where the next few weeks will leave me. I am not sure what I would rather, read about capital gains, eat another pie, or staple my stomach with a Swingline and no anesthesia.