Sunday, September 18, 2005

Daylight come and me want go home.....

I was going to write a blog entry about the crazy person who was screaming on the subway platform of the 2 train about the different body parts that she wanted to chop up and throw in the river and how not one person on the train flinched an inch, but instead I decided to update everyone on last night's event (trust me it is worth the update). Yesterday was spent visiting the parents and checking out their new apt. They are in the process of moving into a bigger place, backyard, fireplace, etc. But I do not envy them moving. I forgot how much I hated it, until I went to visit and saw 10 million paige boxes all over what is supposed to be the living room, I then spent a couple of hours buying the BF a gift, and then realized that I can not mail it to Buenos Aires because a) it might not make it in time and b) it might be stolen. So I guess I will hold onto it for the next couple of weeks or if times get tough sell it on eBay. My aunt had called and canceled on me around 7, and so I was going to my friend bday party around 10pm. Instead the evening went as follows: In the middle of reading a case about a 77 year old man who fell down the stairs when there was a blackout failure from Con Edison...Does Con Edison owe him a duty? And if answered affirmatively then Con Edison is negligent. Anyway, I get a phone call from my aunt telling me "Is it too late to get you to meet me and your uncle? It was 8:15 at this point. "No, not too late give me about 30 minutes." I knew that was impossible, but I got dressed to impress (best jewelry and shoes) and went on my way. I got to 61st between Madison and park around 9:20pm (gotta love any area near Barneys) to a place called Geisha (right next to Serafina) and am escorted into a private elevator to a second floor (closed off) area. How come I am not surprised? I get there and my uncle gets up and greats me, and there are about 20 people in the room. I greet my aunt, my uncle's fiancee and my baby cousin. So, now my mind is wondering. Okay was this a surprise dinner that my uncle did not know about? And that is why I am just walking in when everyone is eating. Apparently my lovely uncle and his fiancee share a birthday a day apart and they planned this dinner party for themselves. So they knew where, when and how for quite sometime. They booked this place for a private four course dinner, open bar for the evening. Somehow I manage to slip off the radar on the invitation list and my aunt told me my uncle felt so bad because he overbooked, but once he saw that there was room he called me asap. First off my uncle did not call..My aunt did (she is the one who tries to keep the peace) and second off how can you overbook without your niece on the invitation list. But your two other nieces are on the list?...HMM., well it looks like my other niece (college girl) couldn't come which makes me believe I got her seat. So I decide, I am going to be the better person. Do it for your aunt and your baby cousin. Smile and just deal with it. You already know your uncle is a selfish materialistic jerk. So I order lobster, shrimp for appetizer, and as many wines, and martinis I can. Hey, big shot hosts can afford it! So, the night continued with my uncle introducing me to all his friends as his oldest niece who he is soo proud of because I am in law school and studying international relations/law, blah blah. You'd would think he was my agent. Then he brings me over to meet one of his best friends, who is none other than Kathleen Turner. Yep, you heard me. He's been best friends with her for 7 years. She takes a liking to me and tells me if I ever need international connections, just say the word. Then off to meet his other friend, Harry Belafonte's son and his girlfriend. I do the rounds, and smile and be the good networker that I am. By the end, I had bonded with a real estate mogul connection, a Hollywood actress, and the son of a legendary performer/actor/activist..."Day-O!". We then left Geisha around midnight (which I will say I loved and will def go back) One thing about my uncle that I do give him credit for is we always like the same type of places. Then we went back to his fiancee's restaurant which is the famous DB&D. Oh and she thought to show me her 4 karat engagement ring numerous times - I will say it is gorgeous and the green in me did come out a little. Then my uncle turned to me and said "oh you've never been here right?", because the place is hard to get into. I turned to him and said "yes I have I just didn't need to call you to get a reservation." HA! How was that? The truth is I had been there. You know me and restaurants, I like to check out what is the best and the one that is usually the talk of the town I will go to at least once. Well I had been there with a friend of mine over a year ago, and I didn't need to call my uncle to get "in" like he thought. So the night then ended with a grey goose martini and a walk back to my car parked on central park. He thanked me for coming, and I thanked him for "inviting" me. I know the next time I see my uncle will be at his famous shin dig wedding in CT, when I will make sure to go and make my honorable presence. I will def be the belle of the ball that night. Ahh yes the niece no one ever sees :)) Isn't she darling? Is that couture she is wearing? Afterwards, I called punk rock and met her at Manitoba's on avenue B. What a change of atmosphere. Tell me why is it, I actually know where 7th and A is now? We ended up seeing this rock band perform (yeah you could just imagine how I was dressed with jewelry that cost more than the entire wadrobe of the band) and I just wished I could have went in the bathroom and changed into jeans, tank top and flip flops. The rock band was not bad, they reminded me a little bit of poison,. Big hair, 80's rock band. Here is their website:
When you go to the website - go to the music link and listen to a clip of their music so you get an idea of what I was listening to for an hour. My favorite song is "on a noose" and "f*ck it up" (ha!) I got nervous when he threw liquor in the crowd and then jumped off stage and rushed through the crowd to climb on the bar and grab the soda sprayer. I turned to punk rock and said "oh Jesus", she said "You are wearing silk I suggest you duck." So I did, and avoided getting drenched or spit on. After stepping over broken beer bottles and cigarette butts, we left. I love this girl and her boyfriend is awesome, but times like last night I wonder why I don't just carry around some wifebeaters in my car. I also wish nights like last night the BF was around so at least I would have someone to shake my head with. I got the big hair to do it, I am just missing the tight white jeans. Oh god! Okay well I was home by 4am, and now I am studying and reading about a guy who left his friend for dead in the backseat of his car. Is he negligent? I was thinking more like an idiot, but that's just my guess. Back to the books.! Until next celebrity sightings.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

So I Married an Axe Murderer

Someone once told me "You think a lot about marriage don't you? The matter at hand is not that I think a lot about marriage, but instead I am skeptical about whether there can be fidelity in the union of marriage. I am constantly presented with situations that make me wonder if everyone in this world has slowly forgotten what the words "I take you to be my faithful partner from this day forward" mean. Guys, there is no expiration date or clause that allows you to change your mind because it happens to be Wednesday. I will explain. I was waiting on line to pay for my sushi the other day when this man came up to me and told me that I was beautiful. He asked me to join him for dinner or a movie. I politely replied "I am sorry, I am seeing someone." He turned to me and answered "That's okay, I am married, the question is "are you happy?" If you all know me, even though I wanted to say other words that probably would have gotten my mouth washed out with soap. Instead, I opted for a simple response "Yes, I am". Why is it that men feel that there are always excuses or reasons why it is okay to engage in adulterous affairs? As we all have, I have also been through my share of my heartbreak. However, I have had more than just the average "It's not you, it's me" break ups. In my case, I am usually confronted with the not so traditional "Oops, didn't I mention the wife?" Yes, of course you did. Because those are facts that I can so easily forget. Hmm, brown hair, blue eyes, wife, ahh yes how could I be so silly? Men love to come up with the reasons why it excuses their behavior (a) My wife and I do not sleep together (b) We have an understanding (c) I don't love her anymore. No sex, lets you sleep with other women, and no emotional attachment..Sounds like a gay room mate to me. So based on my series of bad experiences and choices in men. I have made a list of top ten warning signs that the man of your dreams is really not the man he claims to be. Don't always trust the tan line on the ring finger ladies, take notes: (1) The only telephone numbers you have are his work and his cell phone (trust me his secretary knows who you are - you might even be cafeteria conversation) (2) He is always going away on weekend trips which you are not invited to (This is called going home) 3) He is working on all major holidays (It is 10 pm on valentines day, do you know where your boyfriend is?) 4) He has been with you for four years and he is just not ready to move in yet (not commitment phobic, already committed) 5) His cell phone always manages to be turned off at night (wouldn't want to wake her) 6) He constantly buys things for his nieces, nephews or his sister (guess whose kids those are?) 7) He confuses stories (i.e., He calls your cousin Rob, and you don't have a cousin Rob) 8) You always manage to end up back at your place (Yes, he does have a room mate her name is Mrs....) 9) He tells you his parents live in another country or are dead (unless there are no airports in this country, or you do not see a tombstone - dump him) And last but not least 10) If he seems to good to be true - HE IS! So no, I am not always thinking of marriage, but instead I am always thinking of when my time comes to walk down that aisle to make sure I have a strong prenup and a chainsaw in the garage. You can never be too careful.