Thursday, September 24, 2009


Saratoga holds some dear memories to me, it includes Sven my burly good looking Eastern European maintenance man who saved the day. Okay actually his name was Jason, and he was a skinny American guy who basically installed a new A/C in my room. Hell I am allowed to dream. I wore a purple scarf to the exam even though it was July and 95 degrees outside. I had amazing bagels, a wacko yoga teacher that basically told me that I brought the bar exam into the room. Shoot I can't help it if the exam wanted to do some downward dog. The 3 days also consisted of good food and wine. Why? because Bitsandgiggles rocks! And what is a bar exam without White Sangria and peanut butter cupcakes. Let us not forget the purple kids watch with the second hand that was shaped like a flower which got me through 21 hrs of testing. Not to mention the jerk who chewed Mike and Ike's during the MBE, or the thunderstorm that welcomed us back to NJ. Only to deal with being late and doing 3 U-turns the morning of the Jersey exam with no lunch and a crazy woman who was so nervous I wanted to shake her and yell "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER". All I can say is I hope this is the last post I will ever write about the bar exam. So we move on to present time.


Amazing that a journalist would be allowed to call blame to a person who was sexually abused by her father. Here is the article which not only angers me but shocks me. My comment is posted below.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Packing for Saratoga

These are the 10 things already packed so far (you can see why I need help)
1. 30 packs of Vitamin C in powder form
2. Ritalin
3. Ginseng
4. Gingko
5. Caffeine Pills
6. Sleepy tea
7. Vitamin Water
8. Pencils
9. Ear plugs
10. Yoga mat

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Last Minute Tips for Bar Exam

Domestic Bees are not wild animals
An old, clawless, toothless, sedated bear is a wild animal
Dont' park by the hydrant, because most likely you will get sideswiped
Just because you see heirs doesn't mean they get crap
Yes I can tell you not to build your porn shop in my town
Most likely if you hit someone they will have brittle bone disease - sucks to be you
Even if you don't know its my land, you are still trespassing so get out.
Don't kick my dog, or you are liable for battery.
You slap me in the face, I am adequately provocated - hence I will stab you.
You call me a leper, I don't need to prove special damages.
Get rid of that shotgun booby trap
Keep your kids on a leash if you know they like to ride their bike into the road
If you go to rob a bank, just assume your co-conspirator is going to blow someone's head off.
Who the hell is the reasonable person?

Saturday, July 04, 2009


So I have no furniture. Why you ask? Because I decide I wanted new furniture and sold my old furniture. Everything they say not to do while studying for the bar exam, I probably have done. For example, work, renovate your home, get rid of the comfort of your sofa, travel to the Midwest for the weekend. You get the point. Actually the whole look of the apt brings a sort of minimalist feel to my studying. Less chaos, less to clean or think about cleaning. I personally think everyone should sell their furniture and study off the floor and their coffee table. Well only if they have a meditation chair. I bought this floor chair, by "googling" floor chair and it is amazing. It showed up just in time, exactly 4 weeks from the bar exam. I decided that if I pass I will include it in my thank you speech. It is preety amazing and my posture, my lower back and my sanity all thank it. Thank you meditation chair.

Monday, June 29, 2009


My title signifies what most people in my life do not get or understand or chose to ignore. No, I do not have time for 4th of July fireworks, or dim sum, or drinks on a Friday night even if it is for just "one." I can not go out to lunch everyday because my only time at work lately to crack open a book is at lunch. No, I can not go shopping or have coffee, shoot I should not even be writing this blog. I already have guilt about the lack of studying that occurred in the trip to the Midwest just so that I can eat a cheese sandwich and nachos and clean bathrooms. I managed to go to the library yesterday and the thought of moving my books from the coffee table in my living room made me nasueous. I even bought a meditation chair, no not so I can medidate but because my ass hurts sitting on the floor studying for 10 hours. So, with that being said, we will resume social activities in 29 days, 23 hours, 3 min, and 4 seconds.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Ah my fellow bloggers - Thank you

I am running to the building and I don't recognize anything. There are three huge buildings and of course I am late looking for the room. Why am I late? Why didn't I get up 2 hours in advance? No worries, I will be at most 1 min in by the time they start the exam. I finally get there, my heart is racing a million miles a minute and I sit down.

"Is that your seat?" Says the girl next to me.
I look perplexed "Um can't we just sit anywhere?"
"No", she exclaims "Go find the proctor they will give you your seat."

I rush over to the proctor and get my seat assignment, in the meantime I try to sharpen my pencil and it breaks, so I try again. It is now the 3rd pencil and they keep breaking on me. (Screw it! Work with the half sharpened one...who cares). I sit down. (Not as good as the other seat but it will do). Then I start. (Okay maybe I missed 2-3 questions at most, but I am a speed reader and I was getting through the practice questions in less than a minute, piece of cake to catch up). That was until I saw the head at the side of my face and then I saw the face... sick and green. (No, no, no. Please don't throw up, not on me. Not now!) You hear about this and I always thought it was an urban legen like the women who ran up and down the aisle screaming "I am covenant running with the land". But it was too late, I was a goner. I get up in awe and shock and run to a proctor. "What do I do?" She stares at me with contempt. "Go clean up and hurry!" I stare at her "Do I get extra time? I have to right?" No response. So I run to the bathroom, where is it? Oh these hallways are so long and windy. I spent what feels like an hour looking for the bathroom, people directing me every which way but the right way. Trying to find the room on my way back was worse, am I in the wrong building? Can't be. Whatever it was it was an eternity, and yes I was in another building. After sweating and running, I find the room. (How much time has passed?) (How late am I?) OMG, I sit down and Jack is in the corner and worried. Then another guy looks at me and whispers, "You might as well just leave now. You missed about 30 minutes, you will never catch up." I look at him, get a huge lump in my throat. (Is he right? Should I just quit?) I keep thinking: I will catch up, and I will.... or should I just walk out? How can I face everyone if I fail again? could I move to another state? But it is stupid to think I can catch up after losing 30 minutes? Will the proctor give me time for the whole vomit incident? And then I look... I am missing Questions 1-90! What! I run to the proctor, she looks at me again and says
"Oh well I guess you lost the pages, not our fault nor is it our responsibility"
"Now what!?" I exclaim
"We may or may not be able to find you another book, nothing else we can do sorry........."


DISCLAIMER: This is exactly my nightmare from last night, might seem funny and outrageous but very real to me. I am scared shit, that is all I can say.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Away We Go

So why does the idea of raging hipsters growing up make me cry. Not sure, but that is what happened when I was out on date night with the Midwestern on Friday. I know I should have been reciting the definition of Joint Tenancies or spitting out the type of scrutiny a law gets. Instead I was drinking a vodka martini at Tabla Bread Bar and on my way to see a indie romantic comedy. I could not help but relate to this movie, even though I am not barefoot and pregnant. Nor do I live in a shack or draw the insides of dead people (see the movie for clarification). But yet I was so sure that the movie was based on the Midwestern and me. So I won't spoil it for all who have not seen it. Instead I will spend all week catching up on studying for the whole day lost (because I was useless until late afternoon on Sat), but it was the best night I have had in awhile.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Catch me I am Falling

I did not win a seat for the NJ Bar exam laptop lottery. I should be crying, I should be freaking out. But instead I am laughing. I think that the humor in the obstacles that have been thrown my way is God's way of playing with me. I think he is in Heavan right now having a good laugh, and I need to have a good laugh with him. I mean is it not difficult enough that I need to increase 9 scaled points in order to pass, or is it difficult enough that I had a copy guy tell me that if he failed the bar exam by a few points he would kill himself. Or is it bad enough that I NEED to pass or who knows if I will have a job in the worst economy in 15 yrs or is it difficult enough I am working full time and studying. HMMM, nah thats peanuts. Now let me have to hand write 7 essays in 7 hours which I have not done in 4 years. I am not sure if they would like to also put a bear in the room, which comes by during the exam and roars in your face that might work too. At this point, shoot paint pellets at my face while I hand write this thing. NJ BOE give me all you got!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Emanuel MBE Bar in Box and Refresher course

I was lucky that my friend who is now Esq.and scored a whopping 165 on his MBE's gave me his secret weapon. We all remember Emanuel from law school days he had the great study guides and outlines for our law school subjects. Well he also happens to specialize in MBE bar prep. Now I know so does Barbri or PMBR but Emanuel actually has a whole program totally geared toward MBE unlike these other programs which are a little bit of everything. I was a little hesitant Bar in a Box ...come on that sounds like a set of vodkas, mixtures with shot glasses and a shaker in a fancy box to me. Martini in a box. But I am highly impressed with not only the DVDs for each one of the 6 MBE topics which are clear and concise. Then you have outline books very similar to the conviser from Barbri but again only MBE topics and each one is about 100 pages with 33 questions from their self assessment test in the back. The study technique is to see DVDs (or attend live lectures) read the outlines 3 times thoroughly and do the 33 questions (each time). I am of course making flashcards too. They also provide you with 2 huge books of questions kind of like PMBR. I did like PMBR do not get me wrong, but keep in mind I am a retaker and also I scored low on my MBE so I need to bring up my score 22 points for July, so I think Emanuel is very helpful (a little clearer than some of the other outlines). I signed up for Adapitbar which was recommended by a few sites and also Thus is a pretty amazing website which has all real MBE questions from NCBEX and they come with explanations and answers and it keeps track of your scores and percentages. Worth the money and they have a discount available right now. It also does reporting and an analysis of how fast you should be answering to get the question right compared to past results. I can go on and on, but to be honest they let you try it out for free so you can see the different things the site has to offer.( I would highly recommend this to anyone who is sudying for the MBE. I am also going to recommend the book by Emmanuel Strategies and Tactics. I have not read it yet because I was advised to wait until I review the 6 MBE topics and take a simulated which I will soon. So Barbri yesy because we all know you need barbi to learn it all and well everyone else is in Barbri so you need to run with the curve but for retakers who do not want to do the Barbri retaker course these are excellent supplements for increasing your MBE score. Okay well I am done promoting (Disclaimer, I am not getting paid or kick backs for any of this but if anyone would like to give me a discount on one of their products I am always grateful). Back to studying!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Mary Campbell Gallagher Barwrite

I just wanted to notify anyone who may be interested in the following:
BarWrite® teleseminar on
How to Plan a Bar Exam Study Schedule on Friday evening, May 29, 2009, at 7pm Eastern Time.

For information and to enroll, visit

She also has great bar prep boot camp classes for MPT, Essays and MBE.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Advice from Mary Gallagher for the Working Bar Candidate

Monday to Friday
6:30 am-7:45am Review 10 MBE questions
7:45am - 8:20am Get Ready for work. Memorize one MBE rule
8:20am - 9am Quick review of outlines or flashcards, or listen to MBE CD (Pick one and stick to it) on the subway.
9am - 1pm Work. Memorize one or two rules during bathroom breaks
1pm-1:45 Lunch - Study outlines, memorize one MBE rule.
1:45 pm - 5:30 Work
5:30 - 5:45 Walk to Subway listen to MBE CD
5:45-6:00 study on the subway (Flashcards)
6:00 - 6:10 Walk home listen to MBE CD
6:10 - 6:30 Walk dog
6:30 -7:30 Dinner
7:30 -9pm Review MBE Topics (Answer ten questions, analyze answers)
9pm-10pm Outline two essays and analyze answers
10pm-11:30pm Review law outlines and create flashcards for substantive law and/or World Cup Rules
11:30pm-Midnight New York Multiple Choice (at least five questions) BED

I did my own version of the weekend schedule:

8-9am Do 10 MBE questions
9-9:30am Breakfast. While eating, learn two MBE rules.
9:30-11-30am Review MBE topics. Do five MBE questions. Memorize three new rules of law. Recite previous days' rules of law. [Write the rule to all the questions you get wrong]Substantive law review, quiz and recite.
11:45-12:45 Yoga
1:00-1:45pm Lunch. While eating, learn two rules.
1:45-2:30pm Outline an essay. Do analysis of answer.
2:30-3:15pm Outline an essay. Do analysis of answer.
3:15-5:30pm Substantive law review, quiz and recite.
5:30-6:30pm Dinner. While eating, learn two rules.
6:30-7:15pm Practice New York Multiple Choice Questions. (At least 5) Memorize rules.
7:15-9:00pm More memorization.
9:00-9:30pm Recite World Cup Rules [feature of the BarWrite® Schools] and other rules from memory.
9:30pm - Midnight Quick review of one subject outline, ten or more MBE problems (Review, make flashcards for unfamiliar rules, do analysis); outline one essay; do several New York Multiple Choice questions.

8:00 - 9:00 Do 10 MBE questions and review answers
9:00 - 9:45 Breakfast - Memorize 2 rules
9:00 - 12:30 Substantive review MBE topics, do five MBE questions. Memorize three new rules of law. Recite previous days' rules of law. [Write the rule to all the questions you get wrong]
12:30-1:15 Lunch & memorize three World Cup rules [Barwrite]
1:15 - 3:30 Outline and review two past bar essays
3:30 - 5:00 Do MBE questions: con law, property, criminal law
5:00 - 6:00 NY Multiple Choice
5:00 - 6:00 Dinner
6:00 - 6:45 Memorize 3-5 rules
7:00 - 8:00 Yoga
8:15 - 9:00 Quick reviews of minor bar topics for the New York bar, including secured transactions, no-fault, commercial paper, conflicts of law, partnership
9:00 - 11:00 -Additional review of one or two subject outlines, ten or more MBE Problems (Make flashcards for unfamiliar rules, do analysis); outline one essay; do several New York Multiple Choice questions.
Thank you!
Scoring High on Bar Exam - Mary Campbell Gallagher
Best Bars for Bathroom Sex

Ladies this might come in handy to:
1) spice up your marriage
2) make your boyfriend fall in love instantly (or the stranger at the bar)
3) Get 25% off your next tune up (bitsandgiggles)
4) Any chance we can fit the BOE grading committe into the stall at the Waldorf?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Advice to those who Failed the Bar Exam

What do you do when you trip and fall? Do you lie on the ground, give up, and say, "I will never walk again." Do you lose confidence in your ability to ever walk again because of a fall? NO. Usually, you get up, brush yourself off, and are on your way. Even after a bad fall, even should you be hurt seriously and need medical care, what follows is healing.

Absent unusual circumstance, so long as the will to succeed is there, anyone who tripped up on the last bar is a person who can walk forward, someone who can PASS the next exam.

You don't get to take the bar exam without a huge investment, and many steps of proving yourself worthy. Even if the statistical chances of passing are lower because of your GPA in law school or other factors, you can still do it.
With the proper guidance and preparation, you can.

If you were a person who at the first stumbles simply left the path and looked for a smoother trail, you would not have finished law school, let alone applied for and sat for an entire bar examination. No way.

The fact that you got far enough to TAKE the test is proof of your potential.

Now, to get up, brush yourself off, and realize that potential.

(Excerpt from

Stolen Lines #4

Feeling both empowered and terrified as I drove into work, I looked up at the sky and started talking.

"Dear God, I know I should not be asking for anything right now but I am asking you to make everything okay. I know I should be thankful that I have a job, and good family and friends and an awesome dog, but it still feels like it all has come crashing down. Why me? I worked so hard, I knew the law? I could spit out the execution of a will in sing song form to the beat of thriller! Well I guess none of that really matters. I guess it all comes down to those damn multiple choice questions. God, can you please inflict slight pain to the people who developed those questions? I mean don't kill them or anything just sort of scare them a little. Perhaps maybe when one of the MBE people is eating breakfast one morning, they look down at their cereal bowl and a snake jumps out. I mean something really cool like that. Okay, I know I am supposed to forgive. But it is really hard, I mean how can my entire legal career be on hold because I can not tell the difference between:

a) D is not liable because his act was not the proximate cause of V's injuries
b) D is not liable because his reckless act was not the direct but for cause of V's injuries
c) D is liable because his really crappy act of bashing V's head with a baseball bat during a softball game was the cause of V's head exploding
d) All of the above
God, I am going to try this again, and I ask for your strength and support to get me through another grueling 12 weeks. But most importantly, I ask that you please show the MBE people how to be merciful...and if that doesn't work then can you just send me a copy of the answers. Thanks"

*I Stole the first line of this post from Stay Tuned, by Jenniffer Weigel

Join the Club

Jerry Brown: Attorney General of California (and former California governor). Failed the California bar once before passing.

Hillary Clinton: Brilliant, delicious, and everyone should vote for her. Future president of the United States. Failed the D.C. bar exam in the 1970s, but passed the Arkansas bar -- where she went on to have a successful legal career, as a partner in the Rose Law Firm.

John F. Kennedy, Jr. (deceased): Highly attractive son of President John F. Kennedy. Failed the New York bar twice, before passing on the third try. Served as an assistant district attorney in New York from 1989 to 1993

Emily Pataki: Highly attractive daughter of former New York Governor George Pataki. Failed the New York bar the first time, but passed the second time.

(We thought she was an associate at the prestigious New York law firm of White & Case, but she's not on the firm website.)

Kathleen Sullivan: Former dean of Stanford law school, leading constitutional law scholar, and possible Supreme Court nominee (or Solicitor General pick) in a Democratic administration. Failed the California bar exam when she took it in July 2005. As explained by the Wall Street Journal:

EJ: Highly attractive daughter of Mr. and Mrs. EJ, who is a leading evidence scholar, and everyone should vote for her. Failed the first time but is going to whoop ass the second.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good: My job is giving me a second go at it, and I still have a job when its over.

The Bad: The books are out, the outlines were retrieved, and the pencils are sharpened. I have already invested $350 to do this again not to mention the other $575 still remaining to pay if I do the 2nd state again. Oh and did I mention the $759 to just travel to the damn test. Whose bright idea was to forgo the Javits Center? Did I mention my dignity is still bruised?

The Ugly: Let the Games Begin!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

The End of the World

The last day or two have been very hard and I have shed many tears and kicked and screamed. I have put on a poker face and tried to keep a smile [which if you know me I am an expert at doing]. But I decided last night there is no reason to act like this didn't happen nor to act as if it didn't hurt. I am allowed to feel this way and to mourn. It feels as if my whole world has come crashing down and everything I worked for was for nothing. I told myself last night nothing has come easy and I know "that's life"...but it seems as if it has always been an uphill battle and I am TIRED. But I am slowly picking myself up and dusting myself off and trying to get myself together so that I can do this again. I know I am capable of passing this. I definitely understand that this is no indication of my intelligence nor of my ability. I love what I do, and I want to be a lawyer and I want it more than anything. So if I look at the big picture in a span of a 25 year career as a lawyer what is an extra 6 months to wait ? I really appreciate all the support because honestly that is what keeps me going to know that people believe in me so much. Thank you it means a lot. I know that we are never given more than we can handle so I plan on taking no prisoners in July. The exam is July 28-30th. I already signed up again, and I plan to start preparing this week. 12 more weeks I know I can do this, I just have to put all my emotions and fear aside. I don't know when I will be able to wake up and declare "WAR!" I am not quite there yet, but hopefully in the next few days. Because once I do, then I can start getting ready for the fight. Then the NY BOE won't have a chnace...MOVE B*TCH GET OUT THE WAY!

Monday, May 04, 2009

The heat is on

So I had a panic attack on Friday. How do I know it was a real panic attack? I started sobbing uncontrollably and could not breathe...hence panic attack. I found out that the NY Bar results will be emailed on Tuesday May 5th. Yes, Cinco de Mayo. Not only will they be emailed but no US Postal announcement will be sent out. So if your email account decides to spam your NY bar results you will have to wait until the public announcements - sucks to be you in other words. I do not know why all these emotions that I thought disappeared came back with such a vengeance but they did. Thoughts of what if?? What would I tell my parents, my friends, work? How would I prepare again? I can't take any more time off, nor can I afford more classes. All these thoughts of how failing = living in a cardboard box. Don't ask, but I somehow found a non direct correlation between the two. So here I am less than 24 hours from the announcement, and I have had nightmares and yet I am also trying to fill my head with positive thoughts because I believe they breed positive results. I drank an excessive amount of wine alone this weekend and watched excessive amount of mindless TV alone. Why? Because I wanted to enjoy doing nothing just in case. But I know that I will get through this and no matter what I have to keep telling myself I worked my ass off and I did the best I could and that is all that matters. So not sure what will happen tomorrow but either way I am going to become a raging alcoholic.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Life After Bar Exam

1) Almost passing out during Hot Yoga
2) Almost falling on my face during weekly Hip Hop class because my foot got stuck on a chair move (not sexy)
3) Shopping for what..not sure but anything to keep me busy. Borders and books put my picture up as April's Best Customer because I filled my bag with loads of books that range from Mormons to dead bodies.
4) Working..or at least half of the time. No one knows what to give me or how to utilize me. I am too expensive to make copies but to cheap to do actually attorney work hence I surf the net all day.
5) Adding up my student loan on an excel spreadsheet
6) Counting the weeks, days, hours, seconds until the results come out - Priceless

Monday, April 06, 2009

Waiting for Bar Results

So it has hit me that I have about 3 weeks to get my results. There is no sure proof of this just a lot of speculation but it is enough to give me a panic attack. I have filled my time up with hot yoga, watching gossip girl when it is on TV instead of on DVR, and reading books...real books. I also love that I can take naps on Sundays and make plans with friends again, what would I do if I had to let that all go? I can not even think of what I would tell people. I am going this weekend to go plant a tree on a beach and use my zipcar for the first time, and I guess I just have to stop thinking about whether I should start studying early for July. So I am going to take my paranoid self and keep praying and hoping. If anyone else wants to join in prayer or burn hair or stab voodo dolls whatever works I support it!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Stolen Lines #3

"There's something that I've been thinking about and wondering about and I'm very curious: am I the only one who knows?"

Well sort of me, I mean yes. No one really knows the extent of it. "It" you know that thing we don't like to discuss. Yeah, that "shhh" whisper it my debt. I mean I have close friends that have a guess or a clue or can probably add a law school tuition and some lavish shopping sprees but no one "really" knows. The true extent, the true number, the fact that the credit card bills alone are in the double digits. Only you know my little secret, or our little secret. You only know because we are married. I mean you have a right to know you married a shopaholic, or that I have a problem. The weird thing is I am great with money, and great with financing and great with budgeting. We paid for our wedding - in cash. I paid for my $40,000 car in full (and not late once). I bought two properties before I turned 30 yrs old and have over $600K in real estate. So then why can't I figure out how to stop swiping? I have to learn to not buy those Italian suits, or Stuart Weitzman shoes or the $300 dress for that one event. Why do I pay a small mortgage every month along with my other 2 mortgages. I guess I will never learn. How do I know? Because I am actually looking at villas in Spain as we speak. For now? NO, for later, for retirement, for 30+ years from now....and I might also get a new pair of shoes to go with it. So don't tell okay...It's our secret.

*I stole the first line of this post from Then We Came To The End, by Joshua Ferris

Why I don't have Kids

Every day I have to hear my co-worker tell me about all the cute things her kids does, and then I spent another 20 minutes looking at children books. Am I going to hell because I am not excited about pop up turtles? Now I am sitting here and the kid is sick something about a stomach ache. Ugh! A stomach ache is not the end of the world! I have stomachaches, headaches, legaches, backaches all the time. But I draw the line when we start talking about her bowel movements. The fact that I am even writing bowel grosses me out. Again this is why I do not have kids. Now she the mother has to take off half a day from work..For what? To what hug her and give her tea. Throw the kid a pepto bottle and a straw! I am tying my tubes.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I am a Girl!

Okay so I am back at work and well I am sort of in this interim stage. I am scared to pull out all the suits because well I ate way too many gold fish during bar study and I am worried the suits will show this. I also refuse to think I have hundreds of dollars in suits that I can't wear because my J-LO a!s can't fit into them, so instead I wait..... I have worn more "corporate" attire since I have returned to work, I mean why not?? They say "Act like you own it!" So I will, I may not know if I passed but sometimes if you believe it hard enough well maybe it will happen. So to begin my role as a new attorney, I pulled out my stilettos, bought a new lipstick called "Attitude", got my nails done (in nude again going with the corporate theme), and eyebrows threaded. So there are only 2 more things to add to the new attorney "look" a new phone and a new pair of eyeglasses. Since I am still not sure if I want a blackberry or the new Palm, I wait. As for the new glasses, I figured I would splurge a little (trying to avoid the "I got $200K worth of student loans look") Thus bringing me to my purchase yesterday pink Gucci eyeglasses! Yes pink, why? Because I am a girl. A girl/lawyer (to be). I asked Kim if clients would take me seriously she assured me they would respect me for my fashion sense. God I hope so because I just dropped $400 on these damn glasses. And even though cheaper than a seeing eye dog, I still think an investment. So now I wait, for the day I get the really cool attorney job where they send me on business trips so that I can buy the pink laptop clutch (Exhibit A picture above) from Hewlett Packard....Ooooh how cute would it be that it matches my glasses. Law firms beware....Legally brunette has arrived.

The Bar, The Bar and more bar

So I have not written a post since the bar exam. I will not go into gory details about the sweats, nightmares and the panic attack during the MBE. But you all would be proud to know that I did not get up during the attack. I figured if I was going to pass out and die doing 200 multiple choice questions then I might as well go down with a fight. At first I tried to down play the exam to people who asked "How was it?" What a stupid question! Um, again I rather stick a sharp object in my eye and move it up and down. (Okay I watch too many horror flicks). Now I just have my standard response "Yes, it was terrible but I am told that is normal and I did my best, so now I am just crossing my fingers" I already said this to myself but I know now that the bar exam is no indication of how smart you are or how good of a lawyer you will be. Instead it is a test of endurance (21 hours are you kidding me?), diligence (9 weeks of studying I might as well be pregnant), patience (why does it take 3 months to grade?), strength (I will try not to kill myself or anyone else around me). Yes, you have to know the law. You also have to know how to write that you know the law. You basically memorize 22-26 subjects, and even then you are fighting for 65%. Who really will ever need to know the Doctrine of Worthier Title???? And Heartbalm statutes - seriously? Anyway, I still find myself reciting law in Essay format (Under NY CPLR...) And so here I wait, I have 2 months of praying, hoping, etc. But all I can say is I could never have done this without my wonderful support system. Often, I feel my friends and family had more faith in me sometimes then I had in myself - Thank you. The bar exam was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with so far, and it caused numerous emotional and mental challenges. But you know the saying if it does not kill you.....well then something else will :)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Path Train Attorney

Today was the highlight of the 8 weeks of studying. I had just finished sitting through 9 hours of a bar/bri lecture covering everything from Wills to Domestic Relations. My head was about to explode, but I still managed to do 20 NY Multiple Choice Questions at the library. On my way home, as I was reciting the grounds for a divorce to myself, I took out my barbri book on the train. All of a sudden I see this weird looking guy staring at my book. I ignore it because a) people are weird, and b) it's NY so nothing ever shocks me, and c) well looking over a person's shoulder is pretty harmless...right? The guy was dressed with a cap and his clothes are kind of shabby, and I hear him say "Are you an attorney?" I answer "hopefully soon", and turn away and go about my business. (What is wrong with you, why did you answer him now you know he will talk to you the rest of the ride) He then proceeds to ask me if I need help answering the questions, and he could answer them for me. "What law do you want to know I can tell you" he says. ("Who the F**k are you the bar/bri fairy?) Instead I give a polite/sarcastic answer about how that won't help since "I" need to take the exam and "I" need to learn the law. He then begins to actually read one of my questions and tells me the answer is (A). (Okay SOB, wanna play?) I turn to the back of the book and low and behold it is (D)!! OH yeah, I proceed to point out how he is wrong!(I am so mature) But instead he becomes combative and tells me they are teaching wrong law and not real world and he should know.. Really? and how may I ask sir would you know that the NY board of examiners is wrong? "Because I am a paralegal!" Of course, By George I think he got it! (Someone obviously dropped this boy on his head when he was a kid.) "Sir I am sorry you feel the answer is wrong, but it is the black letter law, and if they say it is right then it is right (Why again am I still talking to this man?) "I am talking Federal law, not that law you just said" he exclaims. (huh? the other law? You mean black letter Assh&le!) He starts raising his voice "If you are going to believe that book and not check for the real answer then you will fail the bar!" and then he made some other meth induced comment about "Thank God for the Appeal process" (What did you say? I'm sorry I was distracted by all the brain cells jumping out of head... Okay that's it! I am going to jam my pencil in his eye!!) Instead I say "Well when you are an attorney then you can do whatever you want!" In a voice much louder than needed to be he asks "Is that book approved?" "Show me the cover!" (OMG! Is he kidding me? We are not in your imaginary world of paralegals are lawyers... Again why am I still talking to him? The guy is on crack) Somewhere between him telling me how he does maritime, family, criminal law, he knows the courts, he knows the law, and "you are reading legalese do you know what that means?"......A lady interrupted and asked the man to leave me alone and stop bothering me. "I have freedom of speech! and I was talking to himself." As soon as I grabbed my bar/bri book the side of the page brushed his arm, and he YELLS "Don't touch me that is Assault!" (I'll show you assault) Instead my stop finally arrived and I ran out of there as fast as I could. I was not sure if I wanted to know what firm he worked for so I can tell them they hired a psycho path that doesn't know the law from his ass (and he sniffs white out during lunch). Instead I ran to cvs to hide in case he was following me. I hate my life.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Not such a bad crowd

Here are just a few people who failed the bar the 1st time - not sure if I should be relieved or worried.....

MBE Simulated - You suck

It seems like only yesterday I was sitting in an Eyes Wide Shut party having an anxiety attack crying about the bar exam. Now here I am 14 days away and what do I have to show for it? I have dreams of circling words, I have nightmares of circling words, I recite rules to my friends, parents, and the Midwestern to every topic that comes up in conversation. I pray to Jehovah, Jesus, Allah, Dalai Lama whoever will listen and perhaps help a girl out the day of the bar. I have a bruise on my leg as big as Rhode Island from running to the simulated MBE, 5 extra lbs of soda, coffee and goldfish, and a pending lawsuit to the law school for negligence of mopping the floor right before an exam. Ahh, I hate my life. The Midwestern asked me today if I had a choice to do an extra year of law school or do what I am doing now and take the bar which would I chose. HMMM, all of a sudden an extra year of law school sounds like a Barney's sale to me. Well, I did learn some things this weekend. 1) People who chew peanuts during an exam deserve to be shot 2) People who crack their knuckles during an exam should get osteoporosis 3) People who tap their pencil on the table during an exam should have one jabbed in their eye for each time they tapped their fre**Kin pencil! Okay, now that I let that out...I will make a mental note for the actual test day. 1) Bring earplugs, 2) Don't forget my wallet at home, 3) Leave at least 3 hours in advance even if I live 20 min away, and 4) oh yeah bring diapers because like hell if I need to get up during the exam because I drank too much water. We are doing this the NASA way!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Wills, Trusts and Estate

Am I the only person who loves typing the afterborn? Ohh Bar/bri, after 2 days of Wills I am not sure why I sort of have this morbid interest toward it. You taught me "You cant screw your spouse when you die". Well, I really don't think anyone will be doing much screwing at all under 6 ft of dirt but I suppose that stupid saying works because I can't get it out of my head. We spent hours learning about dead people, not sure what I like more except maybe watching "Intervention" because then I can always tell myself at least I am not a crack whore.

Why its all going to be okay

Because we will always have nights at the Four Seasons. Yes, one of the many things that keep bitsandgiggles and I best of friends is that 1) we both love gossip (oh and gossip girl but that is recent) 2) we both are total type A personality (who else color tabs their flashcards and books 3 hotels for the bar 6 months in advance?? We do) 3) We both LOVE to eat out at really nice places. We are foodies! I said it. Don't judge just bathe in the envy. NY is a plethora of Michelin star restaurants and top chefs, why not? It doesn't matter that we will both always be a little broke because of it. Without Daniel, Bouley, Batali, Morimoto, Jean George, Keller, Ducasse, and more wonderful beautiful people who cook so well that my mouth waters just thinking about it. Not to mention, the people watching and the nights when we can pretend we are rich. It doesn't matter if neither of us had mink coats on Saturday, because we also do not have botox (not yet that is). I may not own a 2 bedroom on CPW or UES, but my dog wears burberry too and I have furry earmuffs and gloves to match the best of them. So whenever I think I am having a bad day or when I wish things would get better...I just remember there are still plenty of places left for kim and I to be glamorous even if only for one night.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wait for me Kentucky!

I had a half ass meltdown the other day. We are 5 weeks....5 WEEKS away! And to me that is not enough time. A typical day for me is 4 hours of lecture, 30 min for lunch, 4 hours of reviewing and outlining my notes at the lovely NYPL, and then go home. I leave myself about 1 hour for dinner and by now it is probably 7 or 8 pm, so I then do either 1-2 essays and often 33 MBE too. Assuming it is not Monday and then I give myself 45 min for gossip girl (since I fast forward through the commercials). Now they started to assign MPT's so that is somehow going to have to be incorporated before 11:00 pm which is when I put an end to all of this madness and I watch one episode of Rome. Ahhh....then to sleep to begin the routine all over again. But weekends are harder for me, I sleep in and after a big breakfast (sometimes brunch) I start working on bar stuff. I am occasionally distracted with the dog, or the Midwestern or bad lifetime movies. So it may be a 12 hour day but choppy. Well this Saturday, I was given the proposition to have a study break and go do NY Restaurant Week (which I never miss) at Country. The same place where the Midwestern proposed for the 2nd time. So I hesitated and then said screw it. Threw on my burgundy velvet blazer, my rabbit fur earmuffs, and black BCBG stilettos and I was off! Except somehow my goal was to leave by midnight. So how did it become 2:00 am. I was so mad at myself and at the Midwestern because even though no one put a gun to my head I felt I had to hold someone responsible. Why didn't he say no to the last bourbon? Why didn't I say I had to go home after dinner? I thought about how in 5 hours I could have done 5 essays and I started counting down how many weeks, then days, then hours left until the bar. I think a cold sweat came over me at 2:45 am on the path train going home. I have decided something has to give. No, it won't be the Four Seasons this Saturday for bitsandgiggles birthday because I can never turn down an offer to wear my coat with the fur collar and a little black dress. But I do need to start saying no to the 3 am nights that include lots of bourbon. Don't people understand I need to do MBE's until my eyes bleed and write essays until my fingers fall off!! So in protest I spent 4 days straight in sweats, studying and I don't think more than one shower existed. Sorry to share that news with you, but Bar/bri gave us off for Martin Luther King and then for Obama and well I got lazy. I also did 4 essays and listened to 4 hours of property lecture and a MPT. I did still see 1 movie, 1 episode of Rome, Obama, and played with the dog. But there was no dinner at Country or drinking fancy martinis, so I somehow feel I have cleansed myself. God help me on Saturday.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

To fellow Bar/bri students

This message goes out to the girl who sits in the live lecture room on the left side about 3 rows from the front with the tattoo on her back. Yes you! Why in the world do you insist on taking off your Uggs in class? But more importantly why do you insist on not wearing socks? Did someone once tell you that you have cute toes - well they lied! No one really wants to see your un pedicured feet while we are trying to concentrate on the Statute of Frauds. Also I am not sure if perhaps you are going through menopause at an early age too but keep your clothes on all over. I saw you take off your sweatshirt today and sit in class with your very large saggy boobs popping out of your tank top. You do realize it is winter? It is January!

Now this next message goes to the guy who was sitting behind me today. Do not think I did not see you take your shoes off too. I will thank you for keeping your socks on unlike stripper girl to the left of us, but nevertheless please try to keep your shoes on. I do not want to smell your feet and I do not want to see your feet (whether they have socks on or not). Contracts is hard enough without the two of you distracting me even more.

Thank you

Friday, January 09, 2009

Your not my Rock of Lust

Okay there is only one thing better than Rock of Love. No not a re-run of Flava of Love. It is Rock of Love Bus 3. Listen, after doing 60 MBE questions on a Friday night I have every right to watch trashy reality tv with a hairband rockstar who wears eyeliner.

P.S. Casting for Season 2 of Life of a bar student in 2 weeks

Question of the Day?

Why does the NY Public Library smell like baked bread?

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Stolen Lines #1

"I tried to think of the right answer. Unable to think of that, I spoke anyway."
It was midnight or so on my wedding night, and she asked me if anything had changed. I said yes, I couldn't resist. The amount of champagne had taken over my rational conscious stream of thought and I blurted out what I really thought. People grow apart, it's okay that we are not as close as before. Our lives are different now, ad we just need to accept that. This was one of the most important days of my life and I needed you and you failed me. You dissapointed me and I did not feel that you were there when I needed you most. I will always love you, but this is for the best. The words may not have been exact since the alcohol still makes it all sort of fuzzy. Either way, it's been 6 months and we still have not spoken and I am okay with that. I occasionally have a thought of how she is doing but nothing that warrants a phone call. Sometimes if you cant think of the answer you need to speak anyway.

I stole the first two sentences from "Night of the Avenging Blowfish", by John Welter.


Well I have not had a chance to write in the blog yet about what I have had to endured since December 17th. Here is the update: I have listened to 67 hours of lectures, I have walked about 550 NYC blocks, I have completed 369 multiple choice questions, I have outlined 5 essays, I have carried about 80 lbs of books, I have spent 28 hours at the NYPL, and I have typed about 17,417 words of notes. The funny news is that I still have about 48 days left until the bar which makes me sick to my stomach. In the interim, here is a brief description of just some of the other crazy nutcase people taking the bar with me: A pregnant lady, a bride to be, a crazy russian lady who takes her seat very seriously, a girl who doesn't believe in shoes or SOCKS! A lot of ESL people, and best of all me - A cynic with a type A personality who has a slight case of ADD and likes reality shows, stilletos, and eating out. So explain to me why I just went to Office Depot to buy a posterboard so that I can draw a chart of the Bar/bri paced program, with a column for Qty of MBE questions, essays, with % scores. What's next a pie graph?