Thursday, May 17, 2007

Stop the Presses!

They are building a Tiffany's across the street from my job! Since, I will probably be 50 by the time the Midwestern proposes, I might have to start putting a down payment on the ring that I want. Which one girls??

Catch Up!

I have been out of touch because of the insane amount of reading, studying and writing that is part of law school exams. Every time exam period comes around, I pray and say "If I get through this I will never do this again." And so hence here we are another semester, another year. I survived 1st year barely, and asked God to keep me off probation and I will give him my first born. Now I am in second year, and the prayers have changed to let me get to 3rd year and he can have my second born. Since I don't foresee having too many kids, I might sacrifice the first again for graduation and maybe the second to pass the bar. We can double dip prayers right? So 2nd yr done, and summer school around the corner. Copyright ooh so exciting. My choices of class schedule has narrowed down to, who gives easy exams (take home..maybe), who doesn't take attendance and where can I get a B with little or no effort. If they pass one of the criteria, the class is sold. The problem is usually you end up with a 25 page take home. No that is not bitterness in my voice. Enough of school!
Another recent event that has given me suicidal thoughts..."I just closed on my apartment!!"
All 700 sq feet of it. If you are from the Midwest and reading this don't even bother making "GASP" noises, because I rather live in a cool hip city then drive to Walmart and the only food available are chain restaurants. Even though I do like Outback. So now I am broke, tired, and trying to pack all at the same time. I learned how to paint quickly since I don't have money to pay anyone to do it for me. I also am learning how to change bathroom fixtures, I would even mess with the lights but electricity and me don't mix. Is plastic a conductor? So back to reality. I will be eating mac n cheese and pbj's for awhile, and I will have to learn how to share closet space and try not to kill the Midwestern in such small quarters. But the upside no Jersey Jim knocking on my door on Halloween. Oh I can not wait to blast my radio the last night before I move at 1am. I hope I wake up both kids now!!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

You might be in law School if??

You know all sorts of sneaky and creative ways to steal from clients thanks to your Professionalism and Ethics class.
You consider dropping out of law school approximately every hour, but after that first semester you realized you were already in too much debt to be anything other than a lawyer.
You aspire to one day own Blackacre.
Substance abuse becomes you.
The drama in your life now rivals that of high school.
You make adverse possession jokes.
You can name without hesitation at least three people who make you want to throw things when you see them raise their hands in class.
You think IRAC and CREAC are just code for saying the same thing over and over.
You are truly and deeply unnerved by the thought of some of your classmates becoming attorneys.
You think tequila shots are essential to ordered liberty.
You wonder if that one professor who always seems angry and irritable and treats students' minds as his personal playground is actually a sociopath or just didn't get enough hugs as a child.
Sometimes during disagreements you are tempted to 12(b)(6) the offending friend or family member.
You know and understand the complicated epistemological and metaphysical differences between a conspirator and an accomplice.
You know and understand the complicated epistemological and metaphysical differences between coffee and red bull.
You can't remember if you decided to come to law school because you wanted to help people and make a difference in the world or because you hate yourself.
You think whoever came up with the Socratic method should have his face lit on fire and then beaten out with a rake.
You can't think of any legitimate reason why a law student would need access to certain public records, but you can think of a whole lot of illegitimate ones.
After the first semester you realized that "briefing a case" need only consist of looking it up on Lexis or Westlaw.
You've given yourself carpal tunnel from all the spider solitaire you play in class.
When someone is expressing their frustration or anger about something that is in any way related to the law, you can't be sympathetic because you're too busy figuring out in your head if they have a cause of action.
You hear about the death of an elderly friend or relative and wonder if they died intestate.
You have considered changing career paths to hot dog vendor, stilt walker, or career alcoholic.
You're pretty sure the reasonable prudent man is a friendless tool who still lives with his mother.