Stolen Lines #3

"There's something that I've been thinking about and wondering about and I'm very curious: am I the only one who knows?"

Well sort of me, I mean yes. No one really knows the extent of it. "It" you know that thing we don't like to discuss. Yeah, that "shhh" whisper it my debt. I mean I have close friends that have a guess or a clue or can probably add a law school tuition and some lavish shopping sprees but no one "really" knows. The true extent, the true number, the fact that the credit card bills alone are in the double digits. Only you know my little secret, or our little secret. You only know because we are married. I mean you have a right to know you married a shopaholic, or that I have a problem. The weird thing is I am great with money, and great with financing and great with budgeting. We paid for our wedding - in cash. I paid for my $40,000 car in full (and not late once). I bought two properties before I turned 30 yrs old and have over $600K in real estate. So then why can't I figure out how to stop swiping? I have to learn to not buy those Italian suits, or Stuart Weitzman shoes or the $300 dress for that one event. Why do I pay a small mortgage every month along with my other 2 mortgages. I guess I will never learn. How do I know? Because I am actually looking at villas in Spain as we speak. For now? NO, for later, for retirement, for 30+ years from now....and I might also get a new pair of shoes to go with it. So don't tell okay...It's our secret.

*I stole the first line of this post from Then We Came To The End, by Joshua Ferris

Why I don't have Kids

Every day I have to hear my co-worker tell me about all the cute things her kids does, and then I spent another 20 minutes looking at children books. Am I going to hell because I am not excited about pop up turtles? Now I am sitting here and the kid is sick something about a stomach ache. Ugh! A stomach ache is not the end of the world! I have stomachaches, headaches, legaches, backaches all the time. But I draw the line when we start talking about her bowel movements. The fact that I am even writing bowel grosses me out. Again this is why I do not have kids. Now she the mother has to take off half a day from work..For what? To what hug her and give her tea. Throw the kid a pepto bottle and a straw! I am tying my tubes.

I am a Girl!

Okay so I am back at work and well I am sort of in this interim stage. I am scared to pull out all the suits because well I ate way too many gold fish during bar study and I am worried the suits will show this. I also refuse to think I have hundreds of dollars in suits that I can't wear because my J-LO a!s can't fit into them, so instead I wait..... I have worn more "corporate" attire since I have returned to work, I mean why not?? They say "Act like you own it!" So I will, I may not know if I passed but sometimes if you believe it hard enough well maybe it will happen. So to begin my role as a new attorney, I pulled out my stilettos, bought a new lipstick called "Attitude", got my nails done (in nude again going with the corporate theme), and eyebrows threaded. So there are only 2 more things to add to the new attorney "look" a new phone and a new pair of eyeglasses. Since I am still not sure if I want a blackberry or the new Palm, I wait. As for the new glasses, I figured I would splurge a little (trying to avoid the "I got $200K worth of student loans look") Thus bringing me to my purchase yesterday pink Gucci eyeglasses! Yes pink, why? Because I am a girl. A girl/lawyer (to be). I asked Kim if clients would take me seriously she assured me they would respect me for my fashion sense. God I hope so because I just dropped $400 on these damn glasses. And even though cheaper than a seeing eye dog, I still think an investment. So now I wait, for the day I get the really cool attorney job where they send me on business trips so that I can buy the pink laptop clutch (Exhibit A picture above) from Hewlett Packard....Ooooh how cute would it be that it matches my glasses. Law firms beware....Legally brunette has arrived.

The Bar, The Bar and more bar

So I have not written a post since the bar exam. I will not go into gory details about the sweats, nightmares and the panic attack during the MBE. But you all would be proud to know that I did not get up during the attack. I figured if I was going to pass out and die doing 200 multiple choice questions then I might as well go down with a fight. At first I tried to down play the exam to people who asked "How was it?" What a stupid question! Um, again I rather stick a sharp object in my eye and move it up and down. (Okay I watch too many horror flicks). Now I just have my standard response "Yes, it was terrible but I am told that is normal and I did my best, so now I am just crossing my fingers" I already said this to myself but I know now that the bar exam is no indication of how smart you are or how good of a lawyer you will be. Instead it is a test of endurance (21 hours are you kidding me?), diligence (9 weeks of studying I might as well be pregnant), patience (why does it take 3 months to grade?), strength (I will try not to kill myself or anyone else around me). Yes, you have to know the law. You also have to know how to write that you know the law. You basically memorize 22-26 subjects, and even then you are fighting for 65%. Who really will ever need to know the Doctrine of Worthier Title???? And Heartbalm statutes - seriously? Anyway, I still find myself reciting law in Essay format (Under NY CPLR...) And so here I wait, I have 2 months of praying, hoping, etc. But all I can say is I could never have done this without my wonderful support system. Often, I feel my friends and family had more faith in me sometimes then I had in myself - Thank you. The bar exam was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with so far, and it caused numerous emotional and mental challenges. But you know the saying if it does not kill you.....well then something else will :)