Thursday, February 12, 2009

Path Train Attorney

Today was the highlight of the 8 weeks of studying. I had just finished sitting through 9 hours of a bar/bri lecture covering everything from Wills to Domestic Relations. My head was about to explode, but I still managed to do 20 NY Multiple Choice Questions at the library. On my way home, as I was reciting the grounds for a divorce to myself, I took out my barbri book on the train. All of a sudden I see this weird looking guy staring at my book. I ignore it because a) people are weird, and b) it's NY so nothing ever shocks me, and c) well looking over a person's shoulder is pretty harmless...right? The guy was dressed with a cap and his clothes are kind of shabby, and I hear him say "Are you an attorney?" I answer "hopefully soon", and turn away and go about my business. (What is wrong with you, why did you answer him now you know he will talk to you the rest of the ride) He then proceeds to ask me if I need help answering the questions, and he could answer them for me. "What law do you want to know I can tell you" he says. ("Who the F**k are you the bar/bri fairy?) Instead I give a polite/sarcastic answer about how that won't help since "I" need to take the exam and "I" need to learn the law. He then begins to actually read one of my questions and tells me the answer is (A). (Okay SOB, wanna play?) I turn to the back of the book and low and behold it is (D)!! OH yeah, I proceed to point out how he is wrong!(I am so mature) But instead he becomes combative and tells me they are teaching wrong law and not real world and he should know.. Really? and how may I ask sir would you know that the NY board of examiners is wrong? "Because I am a paralegal!" Of course, By George I think he got it! (Someone obviously dropped this boy on his head when he was a kid.) "Sir I am sorry you feel the answer is wrong, but it is the black letter law, and if they say it is right then it is right (Why again am I still talking to this man?) "I am talking Federal law, not that law you just said" he exclaims. (huh? the other law? You mean black letter Assh&le!) He starts raising his voice "If you are going to believe that book and not check for the real answer then you will fail the bar!" and then he made some other meth induced comment about "Thank God for the Appeal process" (What did you say? I'm sorry I was distracted by all the brain cells jumping out of head... Okay that's it! I am going to jam my pencil in his eye!!) Instead I say "Well when you are an attorney then you can do whatever you want!" In a voice much louder than needed to be he asks "Is that book approved?" "Show me the cover!" (OMG! Is he kidding me? We are not in your imaginary world of paralegals are lawyers... Again why am I still talking to him? The guy is on crack) Somewhere between him telling me how he does maritime, family, criminal law, he knows the courts, he knows the law, and "you are reading legalese do you know what that means?"......A lady interrupted and asked the man to leave me alone and stop bothering me. "I have freedom of speech! and I was talking to himself." As soon as I grabbed my bar/bri book the side of the page brushed his arm, and he YELLS "Don't touch me that is Assault!" (I'll show you assault) Instead my stop finally arrived and I ran out of there as fast as I could. I was not sure if I wanted to know what firm he worked for so I can tell them they hired a psycho path that doesn't know the law from his ass (and he sniffs white out during lunch). Instead I ran to cvs to hide in case he was following me. I hate my life.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Not such a bad crowd

Here are just a few people who failed the bar the 1st time - not sure if I should be relieved or worried.....

MBE Simulated - You suck

It seems like only yesterday I was sitting in an Eyes Wide Shut party having an anxiety attack crying about the bar exam. Now here I am 14 days away and what do I have to show for it? I have dreams of circling words, I have nightmares of circling words, I recite rules to my friends, parents, and the Midwestern to every topic that comes up in conversation. I pray to Jehovah, Jesus, Allah, Dalai Lama whoever will listen and perhaps help a girl out the day of the bar. I have a bruise on my leg as big as Rhode Island from running to the simulated MBE, 5 extra lbs of soda, coffee and goldfish, and a pending lawsuit to the law school for negligence of mopping the floor right before an exam. Ahh, I hate my life. The Midwestern asked me today if I had a choice to do an extra year of law school or do what I am doing now and take the bar which would I chose. HMMM, all of a sudden an extra year of law school sounds like a Barney's sale to me. Well, I did learn some things this weekend. 1) People who chew peanuts during an exam deserve to be shot 2) People who crack their knuckles during an exam should get osteoporosis 3) People who tap their pencil on the table during an exam should have one jabbed in their eye for each time they tapped their fre**Kin pencil! Okay, now that I let that out...I will make a mental note for the actual test day. 1) Bring earplugs, 2) Don't forget my wallet at home, 3) Leave at least 3 hours in advance even if I live 20 min away, and 4) oh yeah bring diapers because like hell if I need to get up during the exam because I drank too much water. We are doing this the NASA way!