Thursday, October 25, 2007

Orgy Happy Hour

Okay so I got your attention, well it was not quite an orgy, but somehow I missed out on a whole lot of action the other Friday night at happy hour. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the drunken idiots. The story goes as follows: Tom, Dick and Harry go out for drinks with their co-workers Paris, Lindsey, Britney and Kevin. After numerous beers later, Paris says to Lindsey "I have always wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss someone with a tongue ring." "Okay" says Lindsey. Next thing you know they are sharing spit. But the night progresses. Tom, Dick and Harry were shocked but definitely not disappointed. Soon after another beer, Britney and Kevin decide that there is just too much going on and they do not seem to be included. They begin to feel left out, after some cuddling and smooching themselves...Paris does not give up without tasting a little bit off each menu. She asks Britney for a "kiss", without further notice there is tongue wrestling. After a 10 minute make out session with Britney and Paris, Lindsey feels cheated but she just raises her eyebrow and makes no comment. Kevin did not know whether to slap his B""tch straight or just enjoy the view. Instead Tom, Dick and Harry make a solemn swear to not tell anyone at work..OOPS except me. Man, it is going to be weird on Monday morning when Paris has to go make copies.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Going postal on postal

It is 4:59 and I am staring at what looks like the worst rain storm ever is about to hit. At the same time, my mind is going a million miles a minute because we can not locate the deposit for my engagement ring. There is probably some man with a blue postal suit who has decided to run off to Vegas. On the other hand, I sit here with my ring finger looking so bare. You see we are having my ring custom made by a jewelry designer in Mass. and it takes 8 weeks to make. So we were waiting for the bank check so we could put down the deposit and then pay the full amount when completed. But now there will be some guy named Earl probably calling his live in girlfriend right now at the trailer and telling her to pack her bags because they are going to the Elvis chapel of love and he will probably buy her a white frou frou dress and some expensive buffet dinner - and all on my ring $. And the bank will not reissue the check for 30 days - Don't they understand my finger is lonely and needs the big fat diamond to keep it company. Damn US postal!!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Why doesn't this window open?

So the last month since labor day has been non stop at work, and I am ready to start trying to find a way of opening the damn window in my office. I am on the 50th floor but I figure by the time I reach 48 I will be dead. I love my job don't get me wrong, but there is so much to do and so little time. Not to mention that my cable is out at home so I have nothing to take my mind off work and school when I get home. Yeah, I forgot to pay my bill. But between the deposit on the photographer and the mimosas on Sunday - I figured the WE channel took a back burner. The wedding planning has taken a halt, as I finished all the major things. Is it weird I know the woman at the Ritz by first name? The remaining items might have to wait until after the semester. So long as that day I am not naked, there is someone to take pics of me not naked, there is booze, food and I am able to dance not naked - then I am all set. Oh and of course, my friends, because what else would I do without those late night texts that say "This train has really ugly people on it". So I am doing a focus group this week (yes I am that desperate for $), but I figure someone has to pay for those shoes. In this group, I have to film myself and my life. I never realized how funny it is to see from the outside. Once it is up on You tube I will let you guys know. God when is the cable going to get turned back on???