Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Size does matter

So just when I thought my insecurities about being short were unwarranted, I read an article on that states the taller you are the more money you will make. Now, if I didn't already have a million reasons why I should buy 5 inch stilettos, besides making my calves look phenomenal in skirts, and adding a little spice in the bedroom. Now I have to add the fact that it might allow me to make a 6 figure salary. God, will this ever end? I already think I have a problem, and have secretly admitted myself into shopaholics anonymous, and now I am forced to go out and buy all new shoes to ensure that my 5 foot 2 stature does not prevent me from succeeding in life. The amount of pressure that this puts on me and my Nordstrom card is quite stressful. I am not sure exactly how I will be able to overcome this. Perhaps through some serious psychological counseling and a couple shots of tequila. But I am weary about my possibilities of survival in this world when I am constantly trying to compete with: 5'10" women who make more money, therefore allowing them to afford better clothes, who then get taller men, who also make more money, thus allowing them to wear better clothes. Then they buy a fancy apartment and both of them make children who are tall, beautiful and rich (with nice clothes). Next thing you know, the happier, taller, richer people start taking over. Soon, you will see them everywhere, because they will be posted on billboards, advertising the new condos that I can't afford. K, when they beep you on the apocalypse don't forget to get me in the Saks shoe department.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Gingko anyone?

So I have diagnosed myself with ADD or I think the adult version is ADHD. I took a quiz on-line and yep I have it. I decided that this might be an issue when all within 1 hour I was on-line searching for apartments in Hobo, flights to Chicago, housewarming gifts on I get so obsessed and overwhelmed with the amount of things I want and need to do, and next thing you know I have 10 windows open and I wonder why my computer crashed. The apartment hunting is because I have this vision of being the next Trump and owning all of Hudson street, the flight is for another wedding (damn it! If one more person gets married I am becoming a lesbian), and the housewarming gift is for my newly divorced, father of a beautiful baby girl, friend of 10 years (wait that sounded weird). Oh, so I guess I should also have a window too! New father's housewarming party is the same night of K's birthday and it took so much trouble to get reservations at the TBA (Ha you thought I would spill it) that I am going to have to either miss it entirely, or show up fashionably late (as always). But not without a story on how wonderful the evening was - OOh I feel like I am competing with K's birthday surprise of Batali and Jean George all in one night. How can I compete?? But I will try. I don't know how being diagnosed with ADHD has anything to do with Batali, but alas here we are. Off to some more window shopping.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Look dead bird flying!

I am not sure what we have done to piss off the powers to be, but the headlines on the news has caused me to wonder. On Saturday, people are walking around Hobo in tank tops and shorts; there are dead birds in Austin; barn owls are dying in droves in southern Idaho; and today there is a weird odor in NY. Could it have something to do with Wielgus collaborating with the Polish communist?

Monday, January 08, 2007

Bling Bling

I don’t know when I decided to stop being shallow…But I am sure it was somewhere between realizing my rich suga' daddy was really someone else’s daddy and having my 2 carat diamond ring stolen by some guy named Pinchingo. I guess I woke up one morning and realized: 1) I had no diamonds 2) who knows when I will ever see that many carats again (chicken soup perhaps), 3) I no longer had a fat ugly bf with deep pockets. In this epiphany came the notion: Why should women get diamond engagement rings? There are kids killing each other and people dying for these stones, just so I could wear it on my hand and show it off at Del Posto. So instead I thought I would be different, I would get a non-diamond engagement ring. Brilliant! Everyone would ask me and I would tell my good heart felt story (which everyone knows I love so much) and it would be different, and people would think me so kind. That was until Leonardo Di Caprio ruined it for me. The movie “Blood diamond” has started this exact trend. And as much as I am glad that a blockbuster movie may have put an awareness to the blood baths in Africa, it also stole my idea! Now what? So I am in search of new ideas. K has suggested an engagement necklace, I am opting more for an engagement piercing, but it has to be in a place where I can show it to the parents. Or tattoo rings – Miami ink here I come! Or maybe I can find some rare stone that can only be mined in Uzbekistan or Nepal and then I can have a Sherpa help bring down my engagement stone from the mountain. Could make for quite the story? Or I could just go back to the traditional idea of a big fat diamond rock which costs about three months salary…Hmm, who needs to save the world anyway. Too bad because I really would have liked to have Ami with a needle to my calf while I rubbed his head for good luck. .

Friday, January 05, 2007

Happy New Year

It has officially been about one year since I have posted in my blog, and my new years resolution is to make a diligent effort to keep this blog up to date. Where did 2006 leave me? I am still struggling in law school, but I have officially hit the hump! I am half way to paying $1000/month in student loans. Oh, the things to look forward to. I figure it will resemble my life now, eating at Bouley while putting off my cable bill for 2 months. Who needs Lifetime anyway? This past year was a difficult semester, as I had a nervous breakdown after having a 4 hour exam on hearsay. All of a sudden easements and covenants sounded exciting to me. Without fail, spring semester starts in a week, and I am excited (I always was a masochist) to jump right back in to giving up my social life again, eating anything in microwavable form, walking around in slippers and sweats for weeks at a time, and listening to Podcasts of lectures instead of the latest song on Jack FM. Aside from school, my social life has improved in 2006. No psycho bf, or crazy Russians. Still going strong with the Midwestern (except now employed and sharing the same time zone). So, even though the rent on the new crib in Hobo is the GDP of a 3rd world country, we are pretty happy with the new living situation. In conclusion, the new year has brought me more disposable income, more debt, escrow issues (don't ask), and cutting down on Spike's daycare to twice a week. How else am I going to save money for the trip to Barcelona on spring break? Ahh, the more things change the more they stay the same.