Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Size does matter

So just when I thought my insecurities about being short were unwarranted, I read an article on that states the taller you are the more money you will make. Now, if I didn't already have a million reasons why I should buy 5 inch stilettos, besides making my calves look phenomenal in skirts, and adding a little spice in the bedroom. Now I have to add the fact that it might allow me to make a 6 figure salary. God, will this ever end? I already think I have a problem, and have secretly admitted myself into shopaholics anonymous, and now I am forced to go out and buy all new shoes to ensure that my 5 foot 2 stature does not prevent me from succeeding in life. The amount of pressure that this puts on me and my Nordstrom card is quite stressful. I am not sure exactly how I will be able to overcome this. Perhaps through some serious psychological counseling and a couple shots of tequila. But I am weary about my possibilities of survival in this world when I am constantly trying to compete with: 5'10" women who make more money, therefore allowing them to afford better clothes, who then get taller men, who also make more money, thus allowing them to wear better clothes. Then they buy a fancy apartment and both of them make children who are tall, beautiful and rich (with nice clothes). Next thing you know, the happier, taller, richer people start taking over. Soon, you will see them everywhere, because they will be posted on billboards, advertising the new condos that I can't afford. K, when they beep you on the apocalypse don't forget to get me in the Saks shoe department.

1 comment:

bitsandgiggles said...

I'll come get you, darling. And, I'll have a glass of wine for you, too.