Monday, June 29, 2009


My title signifies what most people in my life do not get or understand or chose to ignore. No, I do not have time for 4th of July fireworks, or dim sum, or drinks on a Friday night even if it is for just "one." I can not go out to lunch everyday because my only time at work lately to crack open a book is at lunch. No, I can not go shopping or have coffee, shoot I should not even be writing this blog. I already have guilt about the lack of studying that occurred in the trip to the Midwest just so that I can eat a cheese sandwich and nachos and clean bathrooms. I managed to go to the library yesterday and the thought of moving my books from the coffee table in my living room made me nasueous. I even bought a meditation chair, no not so I can medidate but because my ass hurts sitting on the floor studying for 10 hours. So, with that being said, we will resume social activities in 29 days, 23 hours, 3 min, and 4 seconds.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Ah my fellow bloggers - Thank you

I am running to the building and I don't recognize anything. There are three huge buildings and of course I am late looking for the room. Why am I late? Why didn't I get up 2 hours in advance? No worries, I will be at most 1 min in by the time they start the exam. I finally get there, my heart is racing a million miles a minute and I sit down.

"Is that your seat?" Says the girl next to me.
I look perplexed "Um can't we just sit anywhere?"
"No", she exclaims "Go find the proctor they will give you your seat."

I rush over to the proctor and get my seat assignment, in the meantime I try to sharpen my pencil and it breaks, so I try again. It is now the 3rd pencil and they keep breaking on me. (Screw it! Work with the half sharpened one...who cares). I sit down. (Not as good as the other seat but it will do). Then I start. (Okay maybe I missed 2-3 questions at most, but I am a speed reader and I was getting through the practice questions in less than a minute, piece of cake to catch up). That was until I saw the head at the side of my face and then I saw the face... sick and green. (No, no, no. Please don't throw up, not on me. Not now!) You hear about this and I always thought it was an urban legen like the women who ran up and down the aisle screaming "I am covenant running with the land". But it was too late, I was a goner. I get up in awe and shock and run to a proctor. "What do I do?" She stares at me with contempt. "Go clean up and hurry!" I stare at her "Do I get extra time? I have to right?" No response. So I run to the bathroom, where is it? Oh these hallways are so long and windy. I spent what feels like an hour looking for the bathroom, people directing me every which way but the right way. Trying to find the room on my way back was worse, am I in the wrong building? Can't be. Whatever it was it was an eternity, and yes I was in another building. After sweating and running, I find the room. (How much time has passed?) (How late am I?) OMG, I sit down and Jack is in the corner and worried. Then another guy looks at me and whispers, "You might as well just leave now. You missed about 30 minutes, you will never catch up." I look at him, get a huge lump in my throat. (Is he right? Should I just quit?) I keep thinking: I will catch up, and I will.... or should I just walk out? How can I face everyone if I fail again? could I move to another state? But it is stupid to think I can catch up after losing 30 minutes? Will the proctor give me time for the whole vomit incident? And then I look... I am missing Questions 1-90! What! I run to the proctor, she looks at me again and says
"Oh well I guess you lost the pages, not our fault nor is it our responsibility"
"Now what!?" I exclaim
"We may or may not be able to find you another book, nothing else we can do sorry........."


DISCLAIMER: This is exactly my nightmare from last night, might seem funny and outrageous but very real to me. I am scared shit, that is all I can say.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Away We Go

So why does the idea of raging hipsters growing up make me cry. Not sure, but that is what happened when I was out on date night with the Midwestern on Friday. I know I should have been reciting the definition of Joint Tenancies or spitting out the type of scrutiny a law gets. Instead I was drinking a vodka martini at Tabla Bread Bar and on my way to see a indie romantic comedy. I could not help but relate to this movie, even though I am not barefoot and pregnant. Nor do I live in a shack or draw the insides of dead people (see the movie for clarification). But yet I was so sure that the movie was based on the Midwestern and me. So I won't spoil it for all who have not seen it. Instead I will spend all week catching up on studying for the whole day lost (because I was useless until late afternoon on Sat), but it was the best night I have had in awhile.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Catch me I am Falling

I did not win a seat for the NJ Bar exam laptop lottery. I should be crying, I should be freaking out. But instead I am laughing. I think that the humor in the obstacles that have been thrown my way is God's way of playing with me. I think he is in Heavan right now having a good laugh, and I need to have a good laugh with him. I mean is it not difficult enough that I need to increase 9 scaled points in order to pass, or is it difficult enough that I had a copy guy tell me that if he failed the bar exam by a few points he would kill himself. Or is it bad enough that I NEED to pass or who knows if I will have a job in the worst economy in 15 yrs or is it difficult enough I am working full time and studying. HMMM, nah thats peanuts. Now let me have to hand write 7 essays in 7 hours which I have not done in 4 years. I am not sure if they would like to also put a bear in the room, which comes by during the exam and roars in your face that might work too. At this point, shoot paint pellets at my face while I hand write this thing. NJ BOE give me all you got!