Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I have officially decided to start the Alli diet plan. No I am not obese or overweight. But I have a trip to South America in 3 weeks. This trip will include loads of family members whom I have not seen in a year, I can't let them think shacking up with the Midwestern caused me to put on the pounds. It is bad enough a good Catholic girl is living in sin, they will probably tell each other that was God's punishment, little do they know it was the bag of cool ranch doritos every night. Also there might be a side trip to my native land Colombia, and I could not do my people justice if I showed up with a muffin top over my low rise jeans. Besides women from Cartegena are gorgeous and voluptuous, and so I need to make sure the Midwestern does not decided to run off with some hot mama. So Alli it is! I know you have probably all heard of the terrible side effects as did I, but since I am troubled with discussing anything dealing with the digestive system that will not be in my blog. I read the 500 page book that comes with the $60.00 bottle of pills. And it is simple, don't eat fat!! You are only allowed 15 grams of fat per meal and you are 3 meals a day plus snacks between 1200-1400 calories a day (which is normal I am told). Not bad, 15 grams is more than enough. That is unless you are scarfing down a Big Mac and in that case you do not want to take Alli. And other tips are avoid fried food, fast food, cheese, greasy food, eat a balanced diet consisting of fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean meats, etc.. So no Fettuccine Alfredo for me, but I do get to still eat all my favorite items like Tofu, Soy cheese, tofutti ice cream, veggie dogs, and fake chicken. I think this was made with me in mind. Before I know it I will be getting into my Nicole Richie outfit by next week.
One of my best friends asked me to be her brides maid just the other day and I am elated! I have never been chosen to be a bridesmaid, except for the 5 days notice from my Ukrainian friend as she surprised me with a "I'm getting married in a week." She got engaged while in St. Petersburg on a vacation with her boyfriend. Damn these Russians act fast, well when you know what you want - why wait? That is unless your the Midwestern and in that case, just keep keep procrastinating for as long as possible. But as I played the bridesmaid role of helping her get ready, calming her down, telling her she looked beautiful and holding her dress so it would not scrape the streets of Brooklyn...Little did I know that I was training for the day when I would be asked to be a formal bridesmaid where I get to wear the same dress as four other girls, and get to attend a bridal party, bachelorette party and walk down the aisle with a groomsmen looking fab! (me that is) The following day, I called the one person I knew would be the expert in this field - bitsandgigles has attended enough weddings and been in enough wedding parties to be able to train me. Her reaction "SAY NO." I explained that I was a virgin at being a bridesmaid and I could not say no, besides I was flattered and excited. And so the journey begins. I have faith, in my dream world of bridesmaid heaven. I will get chosen to wear a sexy little black dress and not be made to put my hair up in one of those frou frou wedding do's. And then we will all go to Vegas and pole dance in a huge suite while we do shots and drink Ben and Jerry's Peanut butter ice cream. Oh wait that is my wedding!