Thanksgiving

Considering I have had some pre-bar blues, I figured what better time for Thanksgiving. The one holiday when you reflect on all the things good in life and 4 days of eating and drinking. So here it goes: (in no particular order)
1) I am thankful for my mom and dad, they are always there for me and they have been my rock through everything good and bad. I love you guys!
2) I am thankful for my bro, even though I see you only when you do not have band practice, I have to beg you to go to college, and you rather spend your money on guitars than school tuition...I still love you. Your a good kid brother and please don't ever change.
3) I am thankful for the rest of my family (especially you grandmama!) you all love me very much and I am grateful for that.
4) I am thankful for my friends, there have been some which are no longer around and I am happy I have weeded out you guys. The friends that have stuck it out are true friends and I thank you for being wonderful.
5) I am thankful for bitsandgiggles, yes you get your own shout out! Thank you for being there for law school, a wedding, and now the bar exam. You are wonderful and I am lucky to have you around. Who else loves fine dining and being cynical more than we?
6) I am thankful for the midwestern, you have survived the 100 hour work weeks with me while seeing me at my worst: when I am hungry, tired, and with no make up. You have stuck it out through the terrible 3 years of law school, many travels around the world, my dog, living with me, dealing with my obsessive personality, my stilleto tastes compared to your granola lifestyle. You haven't smothered me with a pillow while I am sleeping yet, and you actually married this high maintenance woman. Kudos to you! And if you survive being my husband while I am studying for the bar, you have a free pass to heaven. Good luck!
7) I am thankful for my dog, you are always happy to see me when I come home, you never answer me back, you give me lots of kisses, and you keep me warm at night. You kept me company when it was just the two of us, and you are a loyal friend. Never leave me, and please stop barking in my ear. Love you!
8) I am thankful for my job, even with the new girl. Without you job, I would not be able to afford the nights out at Bouley or any other michelin star restaurant. So what if I can't pay the cable or the electricity with the salary you give me- those things are over rated.
9) I am thankful for the coffee cart guy, even when the weather is crummy you always make me smile because. You are always happy even though you have to sit in that cold cart all morning dealing with slimy stock brokers. You know exactly how I like my coffee and you always ask me how I am. Thank you.
10) I am thankful for you martini glass, you are the one who holds the one thing that makes a crappy day into a nice day. I don't know what I would do without you. (I will see you at 5pm)

It could be worse

Thanksgiving is around the corner, and so are finals and so is the bar exam and so is the last day of work as a paralegal (hopefully). My patience has run thin these past few days. Yesterday, I spent the day thinking about how to booby trap the door to my office to prevent the new girl from coming in. Then I snapped again today when she emailed me for the 200,000th time. I am sick and tired! I am tired of everything. I am tired of making copies, dealing with stupidity, studying for exams, the Socratic method, making small talk, the man in dunkin donuts who talks too loud on his cell phone, the stupid law student who let his friend cut the entire line at the cafeteria, the fact that there is nothing to eat at home but week old cheese, running out of veggie bacon, burning veggie bacon, the fact that cable sucks all the time, the fact that I pay $140 a month for cable to suck all the time, telemarketers, closet doors, the fact that I have no closet doors. I am just tired. I am counting the minutes until tomorrow when I get to leave work and enjoy a 4 day weekend and eat tofurkey with a bottle of red wine. I will not think of bar applications, or law school exams (okay I lied yes I will). But I will not dwell on how to prevent the snack shack guy from leaving, or how to make the new girl leave. I keep telling myself I am just in a slump, and it will all get better. Then I remind myself that "No instead it will get worse". Instead, I will break out into tears while doing practice questions, or run into the bathroom during Bar/bri class because I am confused about the law of perpetuities, or speed dial bitsandgiggles for some sanity after the simulated MBE. Oh, I have so much to look forward to.

New Girl

Dear New Girl at my job:
1) Stop wasting my time and asking me for my work. If you have nothing to do, not my problem. Stop trying to steal my billables.
2) Stop kissing a*s, it is not becoming of you.
3) Do not talk to me when I am eating lunch. If I have noodles hanging out of my mouth it is usually a tell tale sign I am busy.
4) I know you think we are friends, but you are mistaken.
5) Stop asking me how I am or how is school, because let's be honest you don't give a shit and neither do I.
6) Do not call me or email me or stop by my office 3 times in one day or I will have to suffocate you with your own turtleneck.
7) Do not poke around my office when I am not there, or I will have to chop off your fingers.
8) Stop acting like you have enough work to keep you there until 7 pm, we all know you are really surfing the net.
9) Stop coming in before 9 am. Our work day starts at 9:30 a.m., you are making everyone else look bad.
10) I would prefer if you don't acknowledge me at all it would just make the world a better place.

Thank you Train Lady

So I walked out of the MPRE, and for those that have no clue what that is. It is the Ethics exam the Bar requires you take in order to get admitted to practice. So in other words, I could pass all excruciating 21 hours of the Bar exams in 2 states but without this damn 2 hour and 5 min test I can't practice (what the hell is the 5 min for anyway to tear up the exam in case you have a nervous breakdown?) Anyway, I was getting on the train in Tribeca passing all these places I love Centrico, Landmarc and knowing it is way too early to eat but never too early to have a drink. I knew if I was taking the MPRE with bitsandgiggles we would totally hit up the Bubble Lounge and grab a $16 glass of champagne. Because she knows how we like to do it up right. Okay back to the story. Getting on the train, I see this lady with her 2 kids. I immediately begin to worry that they are going to sit next to me, because we all know how much I love anybody younger than 18. So of course the family comes and sits down next to me. Just my luck I thought. "Are you studying for the bar?" I look up...the mother is speaking to me. I nod "Yes I am". Her daughter (in a very fashionable petticoat) asks "Mommy what is the bar?" I want to chime in "the bane of my existence". But instead the mother answers "Well honey it is a very hard test, which takes a lot of studying and it is very important. Mommy and Daddy took it together and we locked ourselves in the apartment for 6 weeks and even fought a lot but it was worth it." A smile slowly comes to my face, what a cute story damn I wish the Midwestern was in law school doing this with me. The little girl made this face which looked like she just drank sour milk and she said "Ooh does it have math? That sounds bad". (Yeah math does suck. Right on sister!). The mother turns to me and then asks "Are you studying for Feb exam?" I respond "Yes". She then smiles this comforting and warm smile (one that a mother would give to her child) and says "Good luck". I don't know if it was because I hated my multi grain bagel because they put raisins in it (if I wanted a raisin bagel I would have ordered one), or the over abundance of emotion for finishing this damn MPRE, or the fact that I only had 5 hours of sleep. Whatever it is I was touched. I never felt so good to be sitting next to a mother with 2 kids. As I got up to get off on my stop, I looked at her and said goodbye, and she looked at me again and said again "Good luck" and the little little girl smiled this big smile at me. And at that moment, for reasons I can't explain, but I just knew it was all going to be okay.

Waiting on line at the Guggenheim

Okay that was my cheezy attempt at a rhyme. Last night was another successful First Friday. I had to run the dinner alone, which for some reason made me nervous since there might be people there who knew bitsandgiggles but not me. Thoughts ran through my head on how I would come up with witty comments the way she does in hopes of not having an awkward silence. But in the end, dinner was fine. I ate a whole lot of raw fish for $25.00 and PETA I am sure would not be too happy with me. I am wondering if I contribute that much this month do I get a free pass? Anyway, after dinner we ran over to the Guggenheim which as a New Yorker I was ashamed I had never been. But then again how many people knew there was a Jewish Museum on 92nd street. If your Jewish you don't count on knowing that. I now know because I walked the wrong way, but that is besides the point. Once I figured out the difference between north and south on 5th avenue. We waited on line with a whole lot of people to get in. The 2 people in front of somehow reproduced into 6 people when boy George with the ugly houndstooth scarf brought all his yuppie friends with valley girl accents. Which brings me to the diverse crowd at the museum. The crowd was a mix of Williamsburg hipster with rich Upper East Side kids dressed to the nines and then the of course overlap of gossip girl followers. Trust me I was not judging, I was actually feeling a little under dressed. But after fighting for a glass of wine (served in plastic which took away some of the elitist quality to the event) I was convinced the Guggenheim on First Friday was the place to see and be seen. At any moment, I felt like someone was going to run up to me and ask me if I saw what Serena was wearing, but my luck it did not happen. Aside from the dead Pinocchio in the pool (which made me a little teary eyed), the place was quite fun. I did have to visually block out the image of the woman with needles stuck in her skin and pervert carved on her chest with a baby sucking her saggy breasts for most of the night. Just the thought of it now makes me glad I don't do drugs (and that I have perky boobs). Is it too late to marry a gay plastic surgeon?

Obama Baby

To all those that think the only reason Obama won was because every republican stayed home and did not vote yesterday. The truth is all the republicans DID vote but they voted Obama Baby!
Palin what are you going to do now? I hear Russia needs a new president.

I am singing this until Tuesday