Why I don't have Kids

Every day I have to hear my co-worker tell me about all the cute things her kids does, and then I spent another 20 minutes looking at children books. Am I going to hell because I am not excited about pop up turtles? Now I am sitting here and the kid is sick something about a stomach ache. Ugh! A stomach ache is not the end of the world! I have stomachaches, headaches, legaches, backaches all the time. But I draw the line when we start talking about her bowel movements. The fact that I am even writing bowel grosses me out. Again this is why I do not have kids. Now she the mother has to take off half a day from work..For what? To what hug her and give her tea. Throw the kid a pepto bottle and a straw! I am tying my tubes.