Wait for me Kentucky!

I had a half ass meltdown the other day. We are 5 weeks....5 WEEKS away! And to me that is not enough time. A typical day for me is 4 hours of lecture, 30 min for lunch, 4 hours of reviewing and outlining my notes at the lovely NYPL, and then go home. I leave myself about 1 hour for dinner and by now it is probably 7 or 8 pm, so I then do either 1-2 essays and often 33 MBE too. Assuming it is not Monday and then I give myself 45 min for gossip girl (since I fast forward through the commercials). Now they started to assign MPT's so that is somehow going to have to be incorporated before 11:00 pm which is when I put an end to all of this madness and I watch one episode of Rome. Ahhh....then to sleep to begin the routine all over again. But weekends are harder for me, I sleep in and after a big breakfast (sometimes brunch) I start working on bar stuff. I am occasionally distracted with the dog, or the Midwestern or bad lifetime movies. So it may be a 12 hour day but choppy. Well this Saturday, I was given the proposition to have a study break and go do NY Restaurant Week (which I never miss) at Country. The same place where the Midwestern proposed for the 2nd time. So I hesitated and then said screw it. Threw on my burgundy velvet blazer, my rabbit fur earmuffs, and black BCBG stilettos and I was off! Except somehow my goal was to leave by midnight. So how did it become 2:00 am. I was so mad at myself and at the Midwestern because even though no one put a gun to my head I felt I had to hold someone responsible. Why didn't he say no to the last bourbon? Why didn't I say I had to go home after dinner? I thought about how in 5 hours I could have done 5 essays and I started counting down how many weeks, then days, then hours left until the bar. I think a cold sweat came over me at 2:45 am on the path train going home. I have decided something has to give. No, it won't be the Four Seasons this Saturday for bitsandgiggles birthday because I can never turn down an offer to wear my coat with the fur collar and a little black dress. But I do need to start saying no to the 3 am nights that include lots of bourbon. Don't people understand I need to do MBE's until my eyes bleed and write essays until my fingers fall off!! So in protest I spent 4 days straight in sweats, studying and I don't think more than one shower existed. Sorry to share that news with you, but Bar/bri gave us off for Martin Luther King and then for Obama and well I got lazy. I also did 4 essays and listened to 4 hours of property lecture and a MPT. I did still see 1 movie, 1 episode of Rome, Obama, and played with the dog. But there was no dinner at Country or drinking fancy martinis, so I somehow feel I have cleansed myself. God help me on Saturday.