Friday, May 06, 2005
Captain, we are coming in for a landing.
I am laying down on the bed naked with my legs wide open, spread eagle, and the attractive blonde has her head in between my thighs. I know this must sound like either a scene from a porno or one of my BF's fantasies. But it actually isn't either. Instead it is a wonderful, yet very painful experience that I endured on Wednesday. And women all over the world put themselves through this suffering all the time. That's right, I went in for the infamous Brazilian Wax. Men, if you are reading this you might not understand exactly what that means. Imagine taking any possible hair growth that exists on you private parts (and other parts in between and surrounding areas) ripping it out of the skin in one fast "swoop" with hot wax. Sounds pleasant doesn't it??!! Well, it is as painful as it sounds if not more (I hear childbirth is a walk in the park compared to this), but the results are amazing. They say 1) It makes sex better (is that possible?) 2) Great for those skimpy bikinis 3) No more freaking razors! 4) And your significant other will thank you when he is down there as well (and you will too). So there you have it, the pain of beauty. The strangest thing is after all this humiliation the lady asks you if you want what they call a "landing strip". WTF! Who is landing? Last I checked there were no airplanes or little men standing on my v#g*na directing traffic. Jesus, I wish I got that much action. So, I opted for no "landing strip", just the plain old Hitler design. I won't even attempt to describe that. Anyone can just put two and two together and figure it out. Just please don't stare at my crotch next time we meet. So, would I do it again? Absolutely. But ladies you are warned, be strong, and be prepared to be in stranger positions that even your boyfriend has seen...Not to mention places he didn't even know existed (nor did I). Oh, and one final thought, tweezers are involved. AAHH!!