Tuesday, February 06, 2007

My Hero

There was a time when action movies were entertaining and even though they were sometimes outrageous we could have fun living vicariously through Bond. Now, we are forced to deal with action heroes like Jason Statham, Vin Diesel, and the Rock. Each of these actors has had one good movie that gave them this title, but they have all slowly moved to more ridiculous characters. Which has caused me to loose all hope in the action hero of this generation. When Vin Diesel is changing diapers and fighting crime with a baby bottle in his hand, I begin to forget what attracted me to his lovely bald head. When the Rock is wearing a baby blue powder suit while fighting crime, I start to think what happened to the guy who could beat up five guys with a 2x4 and somehow still make a sweaty black BVD look good. Then we have the guy who used to be my favorite super star Jason Statham, a.k.a. Frank Martin, http://www.transportermovie.com/home.html. I seem to notice a baldness connection, which works out well in case the Midwestern ever looses his hair. So long as it is a good head, not egg shaped like Brad Pitt. Who thought he could look so bad http://www.tmz.com/2006/12/01/brad-gets-bald-in-big-easy. Okay back to "Frank", I was so excited when it was time to watch the sequel, I put on my favorite pajamas and grabbed the light microwave popcorn and pressed play with the same excitement that comes on Monday nights at 9p.m. to watch my man Jack. After the 1st hour into the movie, I was ready to turn it off. Jason had disappointed me with ridiculous stunts that made Spider man seem believable (another bald one). And what was going on with the blonde with anorexia and non waterproof mascara?? I think I threw my popcorn in the air after I saw him race the Audi 8 into the air and over the dock, flip it over while the hook of a crane catches a bomb. The bomb explodes, but his car somehow lands safely and the "Frank" is without a scratch. [Besides the fact that I know want an Audi]. I have given up! I am moving on to turtlenecks and Ron Burgundy. At least then I can look forward to the receding hair line.

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