Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Nip and tuck
I am not sure why the idea of plastic surgery has suddenly become my new obsession. It might be because I have tapped out of all furniture searches for small spaces. If I watch any more HGTV shows, I think the Midwestern is going to leave me. I am not sure what did it, but I guess it had something to do with Pimp my Bath playing in the background during a romantic interlude. So instead I have decided to look up ways that I can suck huge amounts of fat deposits from my body. I am very scared of pain, and I am sure that I would chicken out kind of like when you are waiting on line for the front row of the roller coaster and you end up slipping underneath the bar and run out before it is my turn. I can't imagine how I would sneak out of an operating room, maybe I can stuff some pillows underneath the white sheet and then sneak out through the back. The problem is how can I not get noticed with the hospital gown on and my bubble butt showing through the back. Maybe I can get a free ride back to Hoboken?