I was not sure that whether my fingers or my nose was going to fall off first, but I knew if I did not get to work soon one was going to go fast. Today was probably the coldest day of the year, if anything has convinced me not to move to Chicago this was it. Luckily I heard the weather while I was getting dressed so I pulled out my wool slacks, my turtleneck [which I bought on one of the coldest days in Paris] and then grabbed the J-Lo coat. I have this coat that is long and furry and suede and sort of makes me look like Jenny from the block. It is a mix between ghett-o-licious and fab-o-licious. And I am sure if I had as much money as J-Lo I would own two. The coat also makes me feel like a Russian princess with its big hood, so I thought "Bring it!" That was until I started walking my way up Pine Street and I though Oooh...God must be really pissed off at us for this global warming thing, that he decided to kick our a*ss this morning. God: "Oh so you want to keep driving those SUV's don't you?" Us: "Yes we do and what are you going to do about it." God: "Well how are you going to feel when 9 of your toes have turned black. Now let me see you push that gas pedal on that Escalade....What you got!!?" (I swear I have these conversations in my head) The Hummer thinks it won the battle with its Hybrid (that is such an oxymoron). So instead of gas we use hydrogen - And? When the car is THAT big it doesn't matter if we use Champagne, I still see a world war breaking out over some grapes. So now I am sitting at my desk next to the window, being thankful that I work on the 50th floor where I can feel the unprotected UV rays of the sun beating down on my face. Ahhhh...I can slowly start feeling my circulation pump back into my toes. Whew, because it would suck if I only had one - How else would I drive the "beast" in Puerto Rico?

Farewell my Friend and Confidant

Farewell, my friend and confidante! As you go, so must I return upon the well-worn path. Each soul must travel by. Wend where you will, my wanderer, Even as you stay. Long-treasured in my lonely heart, Loved well, though far away.

I am writing this blog with much happiness and sadness to my dear friend JK. He is currently sitting in an internet cafe in his flip flops somewhere near the Andes drinking a cafe con leche. I did not have a chance to bid farewell and am very saddened for that. However, between him trying to finalize the last 30 something years of his life in NY and me trying to rush out of NY practice class at 8:30 - our paths never crossed before he took off on his journey to the Equator. So instead I send this message to him by the only means I see fit - Internet blogging. So as I sit here and think back to the late nights of eating Lobster tails at Outback in White Plains, or the CD production logs that kept us so long in that God forsaken building of IBM... I still smile. Then we progressed to a deeper friendship over highlighting trial exhibits and sticking labels on green folders in the pencil top skyscraper of CSM. Ahhh what we would do without the life of 80 hour weeks of the corporate legal world to bind us? I have met so many amazing people over the midnight Island Burger meals at a conference table on the 36th floor. And now I bid adieu to one of the first and definitely one of the most important of the original CSM crew. I will miss you JK - keep wearing your slippers even if it is 80 degrees in Cusco and keep in touch. In the interim, I will save the lobster tail for you senor frog until you return.

Sadness in Election 2008

I regretfully announce that my boy Richards oops, I mean Edwards has dropped out of the race. I call him my boy because according to http://www.campaignissues2008.com/, he is my preferred candidate. I feel bad that he has decided this race is mostly about either putting a woman in the white house or putting an African American in the white house. Since when did it become a race about "history blazing its path" http://www.wral.com/news/state/story/2374923/? I thought it was about the Iraq, health care, stem cell research. Not lets see how much history can be made in 2008 - is it a woman or is it a man? Is it white or is it black? Well I am very disappointed that the celebrity candidates have pushed out a perfectly good candidate from the campaign. Okay enough of my political platform, I will just let the celebrity candidates rip each other to shreds until the best man/woman wins. Now I have to go take that quiz again to see which of the two is more "my candidate". Too bad they do not ask questions like "Are you more interested in hot pink pumps?" or "red patent pumps?" Then I would know who is my candidate!

BitsandGiggles Big 30!

I have been sort of behind on posting my blog entries. It has been a variety of laziness, being busy reading for school, and watching too much WE channel. So I have to back track to Jan. 18th when Bitsandgiggles celebrated her big 30. The night started with Russian vodka infused with cranberries or was that raspberries? The night ended with russian vodka infused with more cranberries...Ooh and then the honey came out. I vaguely remember calling the Polish restaurant (I know I said Russian, but it is owned by a Polish woman), at 11 pm and asking..How long are you open just for drinking? Yes, I said drinking not drinks. I was excited what can I say. Her response was "How many?" How many what? Drinks, I don't know, one, two okay lets be honest three carafes of vodka. Oh wait she meant how many people! Six! Okay she said. We walk up to the place and her husband (I think), was pulling down the gate. "Wait" I think that was bitsandgiggles running in her new zebra print Steve Madden shoes. So we walk in and went through 4 carafes of vodka - ok we lied. It started as three I swear. I will say the night was a blast. It was full of yummy middle eastern food, belly dancing, bitsandgiggles suggesting Scores, etc.. I lost the bet of bridezilla leaving early, but she let me slide..whew! I could not afford another $20 bet. I just lost one the day before - damn she knows her friends. I never got to show her the evite that I created with pink polka dots, but I believe it went off without a hitch and we all had a great time. But the best of it all is now the Midwestern and LJ want to exchange email addresses. What else can we ask for??

Engagement What?

I woke up sick as a dog on Saturday to the blaring sound of not one but two cell phones. Apparently, my parents think that if I do not pick up the phone the first time then either a) keep calling until I do or b) call the Midwestern and me at the same exact time until someone picks up. So I wake up frantically thinking someone must be hurt, dead or worse. I answer to hear my dad yelling why don't I pick up the phone, blah, blah, blah. My head is asking "get to the point dad, because I have enough Nyquil in me to numb me for another 3 hours." He starts telling me how my uncle (my mothers brother) is upset because he is throwing me an engagement party and no one is attending. WTF? When I hear that my uncle is throwing me a party to celebrate my engagement, I think lunch at his house with the family - right? Wrong! Apparently he thought catered food, bottles of champagne, the paparazzi. Why didn't anyone tell me? Oh yeah, because he somehow lost his ability to dial a telephone number on his cell phone and now is crying "oooh no one is coming to my party!" So I start making a million phone calls to all my friends. Okay the truth 10 phone calls to my only friends. I already knew that it was going to be hard to drag people from Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx and Manhattan to Greenwich, Connecticut. But my uncle has offered to have his driver (I must be in the wrong line of business), pick up my friends in NY and bring them back. So problem solved right? wrong? It still does not take away from the fact that it is 1 week away and I actually do only have a handful of friends. Which is ok because better a few great friends than a lot of bad friends. Thus here I am 5 days away from my engagement what? Party. With a half a SUV filled with a few of my friends who so graciously have agreed to eat and drink with me and take the trip to another state. AHHH what would I do without you guys.

Last Will and Testament

I have been sick for over a week now and I have decided it is not worth living. I am tired of drinking Nyquil (is that stuff addictive?), taking Theraflu, drinking Dayquil (the color is cute), and ingesting an obscene amount of disgusting antioxidant juice. Not to mention these concoctions that the Midwestern bought me with beets, wheat germ, spinach and apples and other disgusting nasty stuff. The only good that has come out of the past week is two days off from work, home made chicken soup, and the occasional pity party from people. But now I am getting people asking me "Your not still sick right?" Why? is there a time line? Or is it illegal to hold onto the flu..or the cold..or whatever the f&*k this is for longer than 4 days. I start school this Wednesday and I am not looking forward to sitting through 4 hours of class when I am coughing out a lung. But in the process I do have some home remedies that my Russian friends have recommended which I am going to try tonight. One involves drinking a shot of vodka with pepper. Even if that does not work maybe my liver will feel better. The other involves boiled potatoes on my chest (No, not boiling potatoes and my breasts). This sounds like it might land me in the burn unit. The last one involves a ridiculous amount of raspberry preserves. Believe it or not that remedy is actually from my Russian doctor. Instead of just prescribing me some codeine and antibiotics like a normal M.D., he tells me to eat as much raspberry preserves as possible and call him in the morning. I am not sure where my health insurance money is going, but I swear if I do not feel better by tomorrow and my finger nails are stained red, I am having him pay for my manicure.

Crashing the Bar

So my dear friend bitsandgiggles is preparing for the most terrible experience of her life - no she is not getting married or having a baby she is taking the bar exam. I have been vicariously living through her while she is going through the PMBR and the new BARBRI classes. Even though I can not even fathom what 5 hours of class and 9 hours of studying 6 days a week does to a person, I am trying to find humor in all that surrounds it. We need the spirits alive! So when I read the Barbri method, I finally understood why so many lawyers are addicted to drugs. Are they kidding me? Not to mention that they make you buy 380 lbs of books and then not sleep, or eat for two months. Then I read this article and it all made sense http://blogonaut-blogonaut.blogspot.com/2007/11/lawyers-defense-to-meth-charge-i-did-it.html. Of course our lawyers of America are making Meth! But that is not the worse part, the fact that they are able to get away with drug charges for pleading "handicapped" because he was high is BRILLIANT! So when these law school graduates are sitting through hours of contracts and torts and then realize their $150K education did not teach them half of what they need to know for the bar. All they need to know is at least they will be able to keep themselves out of jail. So, I have decided to start staking up on Sudafed and ammonia, and I have the dog already. Bitsandgiggles hang tough, and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel or crack pipe whichever comes first.

Oh the weather outside is frightful!

So the holidays are upon us and I have spent the past few days doing last minute Christmas shopping, cleaning, entertaining, cleaning, entertaining, eating - Did I mention cleaning? This Christmas week, it has been all about the apartment. I know it is only 700 square feet but since I did not decorate this year I wanted to get the place in order. There are a few projects I have been meaning to tackle for example: new closet doors, new bookcase, filtered water (Hoboken water tastes like Mexico city), add lights in the kitchen, putting up pictures...Okay so my list is big. But I will say with the help of generous parents (mine and the Midwestern) we now have new pictures, a light in the kitchen, a water cooler [I love 50 degree water], and have the closet doors on order. Oh and you can not forget the new stainless steel recycling bin - Hey if I must save the environment why not do it in style? I know I sound sooooo domestic, but with all the time I spend studying at home (the library can get a little exhausting) I might as well love it. Even if all it took was some clean water and some pictures on the wall.

Hitting the Town & Country

So the last day of finals ended with a wonderful engagement AGAIN. I was treated with a beautiful visit to our old favorite champagne bar Flute in midtown and then surprised with a proposal and a canary diamond so big my eyes hurt. After being treated to strawberries and cream by the manager we were off to dinner. Then the night ended with a fab dinner at Country where the ceilings were 20 feet high and the chandeliers were bigger than my sofa. And even though there was no chair for my purse (Daniel Boulud your the greatest), there was still plenty of cool items. Such as the frog legs...OHH Kermie! And the complimentary champagne and the balcony table for two. Not to mention the menu with our names on it and the white chocolate with "Congratulations" written in dark chocolate. Should I tell the chef I hate chocolate? NAH! After 3 exams, one which included the horrid Federal Tax exam I needed this. Because after the tax exam, I came close to sticking a large object in my eye or possibly ripping my fingernails out one by one - I figured either one would be more pleasant then how I spent those last 10 hours. If I have not said it already - Law school will suck the life out of you and then spit it out and make you eat it. With that said, nights like this one spent with the Midwestern are welcomed in order to take my mind off what horrors lie behind and ahead.

Thats just my baby daddy

The past 7 days have been spent eating fat free pringles, wearing sweatpants and flats, not doing my hair or make up and reading pages of Bankruptcy and Tax. But before I could subject myself to the stale air of the Newark library, I went to my new gym. My thoughts were "be healthy & don't get fat" because eating easy mac and fat free pringles just was not going to keep my figure slim. I also figured it would assist me in getting through the day. So that while I am sitting at an exam I can think about how I did an extra 10 minutes on the elliptical machine so I can eat that extra gummy bear staring at me. But then it hit me, the real reason I was going to the gym was not for the fancy locker rooms, or the new ski machine but it was for Maury and Montel. It occurred to me that I ran to the gym to plug in my head phones so I can finish watching "my daughter is sleeping with 50 men" or "Shocking DNA!" episodes. I guess I figured if I am sweating while I jog on the tread mill that it excuses my sorry self from watching mindless talk shows that are trashy and disgusting. I keep telling myself if I have to read endless notes about indebtedness and adjusted basis then I deserve some trash TV. But what I did not appreciate were all the commercials. I timed it, Montel spoke for all of 4 minutes and then he kept taking commercial breaks. If I saw one more Reggaeton Optimum online cable commercial with the mermaids I was going to scream. So now exams are over and no more Maury and Montel, but I will miss "My babby daddy is my boyfriends father" on Friday damn!

Bat shit Crazy

So the past two weeks have been lovely. Puerto Rico, great friends, birthday, then Thanksgiving, great family, etc... I know that this is all coming to an end because finals are around the corner, but luckily I started outlining early that I am not too behind schedule. So when I opened up my mail the other night with the return address from a HS friend of mine - the first thing that came to mind was "AWW" She sent me a belated bday card. NOT! So I open up this paper of pure evil and read a page about how I am not the friend I used to be, and there is some discussion of her feeling "numb" - Damn you would think I was sleeping with her and I forgot the foreplay. The letter discusses this stupid fight we had and in so much words how I swept it under the rug and acted like nothing happened (or chose to ignore or forget it - I think were her words). And then ended with a Good bye and have a nice life! What I forgot to mention is that this fight happened 4 yrs ago. Yep folks you got it - she is bat shit crazy (thanks bitsandgiggles for the adjective that is so perfect). Not only had we been on speaking basis for a year, but we did lunch just a few days before the letter showed up. Flutter, flutter, do I hear the bat wings? First off, who the hell holds a grudge for 4 yrs and then keeps it quiet for a year and then writes a poisonous letter right after my 30th birthday after a lovely lunch date?? Those nasty little black flying insects oh and her! So am I a little bitter? Yes. Am I probably developing some psychotic tendencies? Yes. But I promise, I will not write a letter if I need to discuss my frustrations. I will handle it the mature way...Sticking my Stuart Weitzman's in her eye.

Gobble Gobble

Another Thanksgiving gone, and another fall semester coming to the end. I am sitting here doing practice exams for Tax and of course no answers! So I sit here and waste endless hours doing questions that I will never know if they are right or not. And I listen to hours of monotone voices on CD of a boring professor that they hired from some southern state to teach me Bankruptcy. UGGH, life sucks again. I have eaten massive amounts of mac n cheese, mashed potato, green bean casserole, and the pies...Oh the pies! Pumpkin, squash (I made that one), sweet potato, cherry, apple, pecan. I am looking for different ways to pump my stomach and remove everything I just ate in the past 4 days. Not to mention that the weekend consisted of the Midwestern's two stepbro's showing up which always entails loads of Makers Mark and endless hours of cigar smoking. I can tell the wedding will be fun and smelly :0 So as I contemplate over the past few days and think of where the next few weeks will leave me. I am not sure what I would rather, read about capital gains, eat another pie, or staple my stomach with a Swingline and no anesthesia.

The BEAST

So as much as I am worried about the environment and the oil wars, I have to admit my father owned a beast for many years. The beast being what half of America or at least the entire state of Texas own....A "SUV". I just finished reading an article about the price of gas going up to $4.00. I did not know the effects of this until recently when we tried to refill the gas tank in Rincon. The price of gas was in liters so I did not realize how pricey it really was. I remarked "WOW" "Gas is so cheap in Puerto Rico." I never was good at conversion. Then as J was pumping the gas (well I couldn't because I got my drivers license in Jersey so I never took the pumping gas class), we saw the numbers creep up. Is that machine broken? J reacted and said "No, it must be in pesos!" Nope we were both wrong - the total being about $55.00. Well I guess I am not a minority according to this article http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/Extra/HundredDollarFillUpComingToPumpNearYou.aspx?gt1=10621
So lesson learned, do not buy a large beast unless you want to continue to pump ridiculous amounts of cash into your gas tank, continue to enjoy hot days in October because our ozone has become almost non existent, and most of all unless you want to spend another x-mas with our boys in Iraq. See Puerto Rico was even a learning experience of current affairs - who would have thought?

30 and counting!

Well the past four days have been spent snorkeling, taking in the sun, eating mofongo, swimming, driving around in a large SUV, and consuming an enormous amount of alcohol. I celebrated my 30th birthday in Puerto Rico. It was 87 degrees on average, the ocean was 80 degrees and the surfers were out. The town of Rincon, is beautiful (even if it is invaded by guys with blond hair and flip flops). The food is cheap, the town is small but with enough to do to keep 7 people very busy. The house we stayed at was gorgeous and the kitchen was bigger than my Hoboken apartment. The 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom house had 2 living rooms, a pool, dining room, patio, balcony, 2 car garage. I could not have asked for anything more. Not to mention that all the people I care about the most were celebrating with me. Who else would drive 1 hour and half to see glowing micro sea life? Who else would finish an entire bottle of Tortilla Tequilla and a gallon of Puerto Rican rum with me? God I did not think I could eat that many cheetos in one sitting. [Note** do not mix with Cheez wiz) Who else would make sure I always had a coconut in my hand? Not to mention there is one person in mind who stood by me when we were being stalked at the airport? I mean come on! Anyone who sighs at Bette Midler and can sing "Always" by Bon Jovi at the top of their lungs deserves kudos from me. I love you. I do not know how to thank my friends for what they did, but they made this the most memorable birthday ever!! I still think back to admiring green moss ocean rocks with J, watching sunsets with the Midwestern, salsa dancing with K, and driving to Homeland security singing "God is watching us" with Bitsandgiggles. "Sigh" So no more bowling in the living room, eating lots of processed cheese, and drinking Rum with pistachio ice cream at 2 am.....What are we going to do without Rincon?

Countdown

So I have 8 days and counting until I turn the big 30! I thought I would be scared and depressed and there was a time when I sort of moped. I thought I should be making more money, I should be living in a huge apt in the city, I should be finished with law school, and I should have a rock on my finger. Then I realized, I got credit cards who needs money, my 700 sq foot apartment is still closer to NY than my friends who live in Brooklyn (sorry guys), I should not be rushing to pay student loans, and well lol and behold I am engaged. So I guess I cant complain. Not to mention I like my job, my boyfriend, my family, my friends and most of all my dog (cant forget Spike). On top of all that mushy stuff, I am going to Puerto Rico in 8 days where I will swim naked in my pool, and snorkel with strange animals in the Caribbean (and the fish too:), and drink an obscene amount of alcohol, and hope not to puke in my hair. So life ain't so bad. I have just rewinded back into my 20's except the only difference it will be on some tropical island. So I have concluded that the older we get the only thing that really changes is the places where we decide to stick our head in the toilet just become more exotic.

We got it going on!

Instead of going to tax and bankruptcy on Tuesday night, I was jumping around dancing singing "Shot through the heart and your to blame..." You get the point. Jon, came to visit our humble city of Newark this week. Actually he is here for 10 days, to celebrate the grand opening of the new Prudential center. I will say the show was amazing as usual and it was even better that it was free. But what got me most was that I actually enjoyed the opening act. Big & Rich, this country band that apparently half the women over 40 in the audience knew the lyrics of. Scary that I can say I enjoyed it with them. Especially when they sang this song "I play chicken with the train" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0jvyyz4Bhc with a beautiful black cowboy named Troy. Well, I never knew they had them in Texas. So now that I cant stop singing "Go on kinfolk tell you mom and them,Chugg a lugga, Chugg a lugga, Chugg a lugga" OMG what is next, I will start voting Republican and I will think Bush is a genius. Help me God.

Orgy Happy Hour

Okay so I got your attention, well it was not quite an orgy, but somehow I missed out on a whole lot of action the other Friday night at happy hour. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the drunken idiots. The story goes as follows: Tom, Dick and Harry go out for drinks with their co-workers Paris, Lindsey, Britney and Kevin. After numerous beers later, Paris says to Lindsey "I have always wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss someone with a tongue ring." "Okay" says Lindsey. Next thing you know they are sharing spit. But the night progresses. Tom, Dick and Harry were shocked but definitely not disappointed. Soon after another beer, Britney and Kevin decide that there is just too much going on and they do not seem to be included. They begin to feel left out, after some cuddling and smooching themselves...Paris does not give up without tasting a little bit off each menu. She asks Britney for a "kiss", without further notice there is tongue wrestling. After a 10 minute make out session with Britney and Paris, Lindsey feels cheated but she just raises her eyebrow and makes no comment. Kevin did not know whether to slap his B""tch straight or just enjoy the view. Instead Tom, Dick and Harry make a solemn swear to not tell anyone at work..OOPS except me. Man, it is going to be weird on Monday morning when Paris has to go make copies.

Going postal on postal

It is 4:59 and I am staring at what looks like the worst rain storm ever is about to hit. At the same time, my mind is going a million miles a minute because we can not locate the deposit for my engagement ring. There is probably some man with a blue postal suit who has decided to run off to Vegas. On the other hand, I sit here with my ring finger looking so bare. You see we are having my ring custom made by a jewelry designer in Mass. and it takes 8 weeks to make. So we were waiting for the bank check so we could put down the deposit and then pay the full amount when completed. But now there will be some guy named Earl probably calling his live in girlfriend right now at the trailer and telling her to pack her bags because they are going to the Elvis chapel of love and he will probably buy her a white frou frou dress and some expensive buffet dinner - and all on my ring $. And the bank will not reissue the check for 30 days - Don't they understand my finger is lonely and needs the big fat diamond to keep it company. Damn US postal!!

Why doesn't this window open?

So the last month since labor day has been non stop at work, and I am ready to start trying to find a way of opening the damn window in my office. I am on the 50th floor but I figure by the time I reach 48 I will be dead. I love my job don't get me wrong, but there is so much to do and so little time. Not to mention that my cable is out at home so I have nothing to take my mind off work and school when I get home. Yeah, I forgot to pay my bill. But between the deposit on the photographer and the mimosas on Sunday - I figured the WE channel took a back burner. The wedding planning has taken a halt, as I finished all the major things. Is it weird I know the woman at the Ritz by first name? The remaining items might have to wait until after the semester. So long as that day I am not naked, there is someone to take pics of me not naked, there is booze, food and I am able to dance not naked - then I am all set. Oh and of course, my friends, because what else would I do without those late night texts that say "This train has really ugly people on it". So I am doing a focus group this week (yes I am that desperate for $), but I figure someone has to pay for those shoes. In this group, I have to film myself and my life. I never realized how funny it is to see from the outside. Once it is up on You tube I will let you guys know. God when is the cable going to get turned back on???

Wedding Planner

So my new job has become wedding planner. Should anyone be in the need for some research or help in planning any future weddings. I know every venue in NYC and plate per person charge, I know every DJ from Manhattan to Long Island. I can tell you about every photographer in the book. Not to mention, I can also tell you about things not to waste money on like fancy save the date cards, or invitations, or church flowers (who cares what the pews look like), runners, cake toppers, flower petals, confetti, personalized napkins. All these things that were invented to make people like me spend more money. Since the engagement, I have found the dress, shoes, DJ, reception place, church, priest, hotel. There are still a million and eleven things to do and traditions I have opted to remove. Who in the world said all bridesmaid have to look like bobbsey twins? If you don't know who they are just wikipedia it. So I am not doing the macarena, or the electric slide (my DJ actually does not own it). There will be no girls at the altar, and no poofy pink bridesmaid dress. Not to mention, probably no bouquet throwing since I don't want a bouquet. Why so it can die in 1 day? I have learned that in order to not drop 25K on a wedding (which according to statistics is the medium), you need to be smart. But I am going to take all the extra money and put it where it belongs. For example: Liquor! Top shelf 5 hour, and food (people need to eat), and Music. You gotta dance, and good music does not come cheap. And of course location, location, location. So with all that said, I need to go back to my excel spreadsheet called W.day, and update it with the recent charitable contribution for the priest. Damn, even the Catholic church wants money. When did getting married become a business?