Wednesday, February 16, 2005

The Numbers Game

We all know that infamous question that we avoid like the plaque. The question that should never be asked or answered (honestly at least). How many people have you slept with? I can't think of a worse question. Except maybe, "What's your name"? Anyway, guys usually add a few names to their hit list, because they think it is proof of how "good" they are. What we really should be asking them is "How many girls have you made climax?" You see, what some men don't realize is that humping like a rabbit (or an 18yr old after a six pack of beer) is not a notch on your belt. I say at least till the end of Leno, or it doesn't even count. So, if a guy can say that..Well then standing "o"vation to you!. Just remember, you have to minus at least 3% for the fakers. As far as woman go, we always take our number and divide it by half (and subtract by 5 and then divide by a prime number) In the end, we always end up with that magic number 3. You see, one is not enough (means we are practically virgins). Four is too many (means we are practically hoars). With "3", it's an easy timeline. It means Guy #1 was "the first", Guy #2 was "the bad ex", and Guy #3 is "You". How sweet. Come on, the only thing we have done in 3's is maybe the threesome at the frat house our sophmore year. The moral of this story is don't ask.


W. Kerry Huang said...

You're forgetting the "attempted straight conversion." Or is that just me? What?

bitsandgiggles said...

As a woman, I generally halve my actually number. However, I'm rarely asked (at least not since college) and I NEVER do the asking myself. The last time I did, I got an astonomical number. Lesson learned.

I think I good rule for men is to take their actual number, subract half and then add the number of men they think we've slept wtih.